The Holy Grail? -- Grand Theft Auto IV Semi-Review

I don't often read game reviews. One reason I try to stay away from them is to maintain the integrity of my own critiques. Reviewing videogames is an important part of my job description, and I want my words to be as original and truthful as they can be.

The other reason I avoid reviews is because sometimes I think reviewers are living in a different friggin' reality than the one that I'm experiencing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy getting a bit of a different perspective on things, but some of what people say about certain games makes me want to hand out awards for being dumb...or drugged.

Such is the case with Grand Theft Auto 4 reviews. I've been playing the game for a while now, and I enjoy it. I would definitely recommend that gamers try it out, but wouldn't expect it to be universally loved. To be completely honest, it feels a lot like any other 3D Grand Theft Auto game, and it certainly won't be finding itself on my list of all-time greats anytime soon.

Somehow, though, the general consensus in the world of videogame critique is that GTAIV is the best thing since, well, ever. I was talking to Kyle last night, and he made me painfully aware that the game has claimed the #1 spot on the all-time lists at both GameRankings and Metacritic. I was stunned, and wondered for a moment if I was dreaming. "GTA4?" I said to myself, "The best game of all time? What the hell are these people smoking?" So I began to read what I obviously missed in this shiny, online-enabled, feature-stripped version of a game that we've been playing for six years. This is what I discovered:

People are enamored by Liberty City

I agree with this, the city is huge and detailed, bustling with activity, and operates totally independently from the actions of Niko Bellic (unless of course he comes careening off of a garbage truck at 90 miles per hour and hits a group of union workers sitting on the stoop of a building by the park while the cops are chasing a thug down the street a block over). Rockstar has indeed created a rich environment to play in, and I applaud them for that.

Nobody has been told a good story lately

I'm sorry, but GTAIV's story is not as good as people seem to have convinced themselves that it is. The whole point of the game was to find "that special someone" from your past, and when you finally did, there was very little fanfare at all. That would have been fine if something of substantial gravity came up to overshadow it, but it didn't. Sure, there was a kidnapping, and that was a great mission, but an impromptu kidnapping and rescue is not quite the same as a lifelong hunt for someone who was responsible for the slaughter of your entire circle of friends in the most traumatic time of your life.

The final conflict was completely contrived and almost nonsensical. That last "villain" to be dealt with played a fairly minor role until the last mission, routinely dishing out assignments and acting in a generally amicable way toward Niko. When the hell do mafia bosses go on drive-bys, anyway? Aren't there "soldiers" for that? Additionally, don't you think Packie would have been just a little more upset that his SISTER was killed than a guy who just met her a week ago and had never even seen the inside of her apartment?

"Oscar-worthy" is an overused phrase

I liked the characters. Their performances were very colorful and genuine; they feel like real people - people you get to know personally. They lead you to either love them or hate them, which is the goal of any good dramatic actor. Only a couple left me feeling completely indifferent, and the biggest gripe I can conjure up about their dialogue is that some of their accents and ethnic colloquialisms sounded unnatural. That aside, dialogue was top-notch, but calling it Oscar-worthy is a bit of a hyperbole.

Improved controls mean flawless gameplay

Well, that's very debatable. The controls are absolutely better than in past GTA games. Combat, especially has been tightened up, allowing players to lock on, free-aim, use cover, and climb over obstacles on their way to erasing their enemies. It feels much more complete than the old GTA combat system, and allows for more complex firefights. Shooting it out with the killers of Liberty City is much more engaging and fun this time around, but it's not without its flaws and still manages to feel clunky on a consistent, albeit less frequent basis.

Driving in GTAIV is different than in past games. There are actually a few applicable laws of physics now, so each car will handle differently than the rest. This makes rollin' down the streets feel a lot less like the Cruis'n series, and more like a mildly sophisticated driving simulation. It's a good change. That being said, it's not really a whole lot of fun to drive around when you're trying to accomplish goals. Remember all the crying that accompanied Wind Waker's sailing? That's sort of how I felt about GTAIV's driving as I progressed further into the game. Thanks for the cabs, Rockstar, or else I may have just given up on trying to get to my damn missions. PS - That's not how gamers should feel.

"The missions are amaaaazing, and NOT repetitive at all"

Unfortunately, the missions in GTAIV are far less creative than what we have seen in the past. More than half of what Niko does in GTAIV involves the following 4-step process:

1. Get mission assignment
2. Go to highlighted location
3. Fight or chase
4. Chase or fight

A few of the missions stand out, as one might expect, but the ratio of truly interesting story missions to mundane and repetitive ones is disappointing. There are plenty of optional tasks to perform on the side, but within each category of mission, again, the weight of repetition bogs the experience down. That's not to say that there is no joy in completing missions, because they have to have been at least somewhat enjoyable for me to have completed the game. It's just that GTAIV makes me feel bipolar; sometimes it's really fun, and other times I just want to put it on the shelf and forget about it. It really depends on the mission.

So Niko's Liberty City adventure has added a bunch of new stuff to the GTA equation, including internet browsing, friendships, dating, social events, and a nifty cell phone that acts as a hub for your entire digital-age existence (and serves as a nice throwback to the payphone-based mission acquisition of the original GTA). These are fine additions to the franchise, but they're offset by the things that have been taken away.

First of all, money is damn near useless in GTAIV, save for an Xbox achievement, so that incentive to succeed is gone. Your hard-earned cash can get you ringtones and wallpapers for your phone, a few outfits from the clothing store, or the occasional gun when Niko has thrown his away, but that's about it. You can't buy businesses to increase your fortune or additional safehouses/garages to save your game and store your vehicles. Actually, there are no garages at any of GTAIV's safehouses, which is a big buzz-kill. Parking your Infernus in a "reserved parking spot" on the side of the street doesn't exactly give a person the same feeling as filling up multiple garages like an episode of Cribs.

As for character growth and customization, Niko won't be getting any haircuts or tattoos, nor will he be hitting the gym or improving his stats in any way. GTAIV has done away with that sort of character growth. Instead, Niko develops as a character through narrative and experience. We see and hear his views shift as the game progresses, which is refreshing for a GTA game, but he isn't the most dynamic and affective character videogames have to offer by any stretch of the imagination. Even the "big moral choices" that many have touted are little more than choosing who to kill and who to let live. Either way, not much is changed. This was a very disappointing aspect of the game.

"The multiplayer is huge and awesome!"

Well, yeah. It's pretty awesome.

Hmmm, now that I've pretty much reviewed this thing, I might as well give it a score, huh? Okay, to satisfy the arbitrary rating-seekers, I give it a :-) out of :-D

There you have it, my rant-turned-quasi-review of the most overrated game of the year. The point of all this is that GTAIV is not the be-all, end-all second coming of the gaming gods. It is a solid game, just like the rest of the series, but let's take a minute to remember what it means to be a "perfect" 10, shall we?

GTA IV Trailer!

Yesterday, the world got its first glimpse of the next addition to the Grand Theft Auto Franchise, when Rockstar unveiled the first official trailer for the game.

It appears to take place in contemporary New York City, featuring shots of locales such as Times Square, the Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty. It apparently even goes as far as Coney Island. The time period is made evident by the types of ads found on Times Square billboards, and supported by the fact that the Empire State Building is pictured, while the World Trade Center is absent. No footage of actual gameplay has been shown, but I can only imagine it being standard GTA style.

As for the protagonist, we are led to believe that it will be the large-nosed Russian dude in the video, who talks, among other things, of SUING people. Interesting...

The Count | Top 10 (+1) Most Anticipated Games Of 2007

Experience has taught me that oftentimes, gamers are better off taking projected release dates with a grain of salt, but I can't help but feel like 2007 is going to be one of the best years in gaming history. There are enough high profile titles on the way to drown a fish, and they all look outstanding. I had trouble limiting it to only 10 of them - so I didn't. Here are my most anticipated games of the coming year:


(+1) Halo 3

Now I know somebody out there doesn't care about this game, but the rest of the gaming world is salivating in anticipation. The third installment of the critically acclaimed franchise is set to be huge, with high-def visuals and enhanced online gameplay, not to mention the climax of the series' story. The near-universal love of the series is clear, as Halo 2 remains the most-played game on Xbox Live to date. With the online beta of Halo 3 just around the corner, there is a lot to be excited about.


10) Blue Dragon


This one has already been released in Japan, and is responsible for selling more Xbox 360s there than any other game can claim. This RPG is the craft of a dream team who, when last working together, created one of the most lauded RPGs of all time - Chrono Trigger. A game that tweaks its genre just right, Blue Dragon does away with random battles, putting enemies on screen at all times. It also features a unique system for GETTING INTO battles, allowing players to string together fights, building momentum as they go, as well as drawing rival creatures into the same bloody fray - where they will attack EACH OTHER. Other points of awesomeness are the party of five characters, which all fight in every encounter, and the deep class system. It sounds like an RPGer's dream.


9) Grand Theft Auto IV

Just one image. That's enough. Heck, ZERO images would be enough for this game. We don't know where it takes place, what time period it spans, or who the main character might be, but it doesn't matter - we know it will be good. As of this posting, 19 days remain until the first trailer of GTA IV is shown at http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/.


8) Mass Effect


"BioWare presents..." Those words alone are enough to gamers excited. The company's track record is indeed a sight to behold - they are responsible for Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and Jade Empire. Mass Effect's gameplay is reminiscent of prior games, but with a few huge improvements. The branching dialog in this game is done completely in real-time. This will allow the player to interject as he pleases and give these interactions a much less-scripted feel. The combat has also been improved, with all-new tactical control over party members' actions and equipment. Lastly, let's not forget that the voice acting is excellent and the graphics are some of the best around.


7) Super Mario Galaxy


This is the Mario game we're supposed to be excited about...and I am. It's Mario in full 3D again, and with a slew of Wii-centric controls, Super Mario Galaxy aims to take gamers on a ride unlike any previous Mario adventure. My only reservation was that game might focus too much on a single theme, quickly wearing out it's initial appeal (a la Super Mario Sunshine). Considering the variety of locales seen in this latest video, I'm not terribly worried, and can't wait to try it out.


6) White Night Story


From the developers of the recent hit RPGs Rogue Galaxy and Dragon Quest VIII, as well as the Dark Cloud Series, White Knight Story appears to be the game that could coax me into buying a PS3. Not only does it LOOK amazing, but it features a battle system unlike any other. Encounters are rendered in accurately choreographed sequences, where successful strikes on the enemy are mixed amongst a barrage of attacks that are either blocked or parried, before tasting the sweet reward of steel on flesh. As seen in the trailer, the protagonist is also capable of transforming into a hulking white knight, which is ALL KINDS of cool.


5) Metal Gear Solid 4


Metal Gear Solid is an incredible series, and MGS4 is sure to be an incredible game. Snake has grown old and battle-weary, but remains in the heat of combat, aided once again by his old friend Otacon. The jump to the newest console generation has done wonders for the graphical presentation of the game, and will propel the already stellar cinematography of the series to new heights. The story promises to be just as interesting as previous games, and will surely have plenty of underlying messages to deliver to eager gamers. This game will definitely be an experience.


4) God of War 2


If you've played God of War, then you MUST BE excited for God of War II. The first game was...well, awesome. It was fierce action combined with fun platforming and a top-notch story. If that game, and this trailer are any indicator, then God of War II is shaping up to be one of the best games the PS2 has to offer. We'll find out this Tuesday if the term "swan song" is applicable here.


3) Spore


When Will Wright creates something, people take notice. The legendary designer is hard at work on an ambitious new game, entitled Spore. Borrowing elements from games ranging from Pac-Man to The Sims, E.V.O. to Cubivore, it is what one might call a "life sim," where players guide the evolution of of an organism up through the generations, and at the same time through multiple game genres. The game features a huge amount of procedurally generated content, from the creatures that populate the game world, to the very world itself. Furthermore, Wright has dubbed Spore a massively single player game, because as players progress, their creations will begin to show up in other users' worlds. There, they become AI-controlled parts of that other player's game, and are tagged with their creator's information. From protist to intergalactic conquerer, there is just TOO much to Spore NOT to be excited.


2) Super Paper Mario


As a huge fan of the old 2D Super Mario Bros games, as well as the stylish Paper Mario games, there is no describing how exciting Super Paper Mario is to me. Not only that, but when Super Mario Sunshine promised an "incredible new feature," all I hoped for was a game that transitioned between classic 2D platforming and 3D exploration. It's finally here. This game introduces a myriad of new character abilities and gameplay opportunities to gamers, and combines 2D side-scrolling, 3D platforming, and role-playing elements all into a single bundle of AWESOME.


1) Assassin's Creed


I am in love with this game. Besides the ability to navigate your surroundings based purely on the physics and structure of the game world, it is everything I could ever want in an action game. Free-roaming exploration, acrobatics, stealth, swordplay, horseback riding, assassinations, and BEAUTIFUL visuals. Additionally, there have been rumblings of a very unexpected and intriguing plotline. All this from the people who brought us Prince of Persia. *swoon*


There you have it - a complete year of gaming goodness.