Tell Me How: The Review Process

This is an open letter to all videogame publishers. You see, I need your help. I've been having trouble lately formulating opinions and analyses of your products, and my reviews are suffering from a terrible case of truth and original thought.

Unfortunately, the other videogame websites I used to "borrow" my review scores and ideas from are apparently being frequented and subsequently regurgitated by a plethora of other online publications. Rather than following the trend, and becoming a needle in a stack of needles, I have decided to seek an alternative method of producing my reviews.

I'm going straight to the source.

Publishers, please tell me how to review your games. Tell me not only what features, gameplay modes, options and the like are included (because I have trouble locating all of those things when navigating the games' menu screens), but also tell me how the game should be played and how to critique it. Heck, why not just send me a range of about ten percentage points in which my final review score should fall?

That would be incredibly helpful to me. All of that information could be bundled together in what would be called a "reviewer's guide" or something to that effect. I could certainly use a neat little guide to reviewing your games -- a library of handbooks, specific to each and every one.

Also, it would be great if you would directly contact me after my reviews have been published, just in case you feel I've missed anything. We can always discuss things, and maybe you can even help to make my reviews BETTER! Then we'll both be happier. :-)

We really need to communicate, because until that happens, all you're going to get is my 100% honest, unbiased opinion and analysis -- and you may not always like that.

-Eddie

A Foggy Day In PSP-Town -- Silent Hill: Origins Review

Silent Hill: Origins could just as easily have been called Silent Hill Jr. It is a portable rendition of the series' horror-styled gameplay, and is inferior to the other games in the series in most ways. This is not to say that the game is horrible, because it will certainly offer at least some entertainment value while, say, waiting for a bus or flying from Myrtle Beach to San Francisco. It just lacks that special something that previous Silent Hill games have had to offer - it's bland.

The game takes place in the lovely town of Silent Hill, where a trucker named Travis Grady is waylaid by the sight of a burning house after almost hitting a pedestrian with all 7 tons of his 18-wheeler. He rescues a young girl from inside of the inferno and takes her to, of all places, the Silent Hill hospital. Sucks to be him.

From there, the game follows a rudimentary and predictable path around the town, through various locations such as the hospital, sanitarium, theater, and motel. Actually, that's all of the major sections of the game, right there. The game is unusually short, clocking in at just under 4 hours, and players are led from one portion to the next as if on a leash.

Each area is set up as an isolated "level" of the game, with no freedom to leave once entrapped by the madness within. Remembering that this is a portable game, and may not be played all in one sitting, however, that may not be a bad thing. It keeps players focused on the task at hand, which must be completed in order to progress.

Otherwise, the game feels very much like the older Silent Hill games, but with a weaker story. It does little to up the ante in terms of narrative and underlying meaning, which is very unlike the most recent games in the series. Until Origins, each game has been an improvement in that area.

Origins features the usual third-person perspective with semi-static camera angles and camera-relative controls, which, in this case, is more frustrating than before. The camera shifts cause an endless battle between the game, the player, and the control stick. On multiple occasions, players will find themselves walking back and forth between two screens, struggling to move in the proper direction. This is not necessarily a problem with the system, but more with the specific sequences of camera angles.

The combat system is the same familiar setup, featuring a protagonist that remains stationary to attack, and then runs away when enemies draw near. For the less-than-impressive boss fights, the strategy is shoot, turn, run, turn, shoot, etc.

There are a few new features, however, such as a button-prompt mechanic that is triggered when Travis is grabbed by an enemy, and breakable melee weapons. The button-prompts resemble a watered-down version of the God of War style, and add a bit more excitement to the combat. It'd be nice if they were more prevalent, though. As for the weapons, they are really just an annoyance. Players end up collecting dozens of blunt and bladed objects that are very weak and break much too quickly. I understand the desire to create a more in-depth inventory and combat system, but this particular method just doesn't work. The melee weapons in older Silent Hill games were much more enjoyable to use, and Origins players are somewhat forced to stick to firearms once they're available.

The game's strongest points are in its presentation. Origins is a beautiful PSP game, full of real-time dynamic lighting and shadows, large and detailed character models, and interestingly designed environments. The only thing I would ask for is a greater variety of enemies to fight. The sound design is excellent, and creates a perfect atmosphere for this type of game. Music kicks in and ramps up at just the right moments, sound effects act as clues to certain goings-on in Travis' immediate environment, and ambient noise is just plain creepy. Even the voice acting is good.

Despite its attractive veneer, Silent Hill: Origins doesn't have a whole lot to offer. It is short, cumbersome, and fails to engage the player as he or she might like it to. It seems somewhat dated, but isn't necessarily bad. I think the term "blah" aptly describes it.

That Game Is What?

I was having a bit of fun the other day looking up terms on Urbandictionary.com, and I decided it would make for an interesting column if I started looking up videogame terms to pass on to you, the GN faithful. Eventually, it just turned into "name a game and pick the most disparaging/humorous definition of said game" - which isn't really so bad.*

Here's what I found during my quest (entries left unedited for extra entertainment value - beware of extreme profanity):

Video games:
1 - The only thing that's fun to do anymore.

PS3:
1 - sony playstation 3, it was released @ E3 2005, looks like a fridge door with dildos as controllers
2 - An over priced George Foreman grill, enough heat and space to cook food for a 3rd world country plus it costs as much as a 3rd world country...

Wii:
1 - Wii (pronounced "Wee") is the name for Nintendo's new console to be released in 2006. The soundalike word wee is also a euphemism for urinating. Nintendo had always insisted they would become "number one", and now they are.
2 - A repackaged Gamecube with motion controls. Formerly known as the Levorution
3 - To change a cool sounding product into a name that sounds like you have to go to the bathroom
4 - XBox 360's little white bitch

Xbox 360:
1 - Basically Microsoft's next big fat console that allows blood-thirsty players to play blood-filled killing games. Will emulates incredible details and graphics of death, mutilation, blood, infiltration, conspiration, explosion, planet novas, killing and prostitution.
2 - A junky fucking game system that isn't worth a penny. It breaks easily, horrible graphics, the graphics are blurry, junky look, shitty-ass controls, sucks like the xbox. PS3 rules! Xbox 360 sucks ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 - The suckiest Next-Gen console Ever.
4 - The Game console pwned by the PS3 and Wii.

MMORPG:
1 - Many Men Online Role-Playing Girls.
2 - A treadmill that makes you fatter.
3 - A mans mistress
4 - Relationship killer.

Leeroy Jenkins:
1 - Doing it Leeroy Jenkins Style. Meaning to do something so bloody wild that youll be talked about for months because it was bloody insane.

World of Warcraft:
1 - A good fun alternative to life.
2 - crack, in CD-ROM form.
3 - The most highly addictive game ever played. It will consume your soul and poison your water supply.

Halo:
1. without this game most guys would spend most of their time masturbating
2. code word: group, all male, masturbating.
3. electronic circle jerk, multiguy mission.

Halo 3:
1 - If idle hands are the devil's tools, then the Halo franchise should be delaying armageddon for decades to come.
2 - A gift probably from heaven, programmed by god himself. Though Playstation 3 fag boys...sorry, "fanboys" may say it sucks, they are just disappointed that their console will not be able to handle it. With all it's cool features, halo 3 will make gaming history. On Sept 25th the earth itself will shake from the awesomeness of halo. I look forward to laughing at the PS3 fans on that day.

Metal Gear Solid:
1. a game that is too fucking cool for words to describe.if you havnt played it then you cant realy say you've had life experience when applying for a job.

Final Fantasy:
1 - a highly addictive drug.
2 - the video game series that used to be for video game geeks but now is now unfortunately enjoyed by all, including the people that used to beat me up for liking these games
2 - The RPG plague and should be ingorned and it will go away.
3 - some gay game that all the gay ass nerds play and they suck balls

Guitar Hero:
1 - A game played at Best Buy as a way to pick up chicks who dont realize that no skill from playing the real guitar is required.
2 - A video game on the Playstation 2 and the lazy man's alternative to actually playing the guitar because they are either too lazy, impatient, or simply lack the talent.
3 - DDR for your fingers. Has spawned an obsession over the entire country. 15 year olds who have never touched a real guitar consider it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Mario Kart:
1 - A drunk college student's favorite pastime.

Mario:
1- A fat and short plumber that the only way he can get laid is is to save the princess from Bowser. He eats shrooms to grow higher. To give an example of how much he wants to get laid: hes willing to bust bricks with his head. But you, have a better chance of getting laid if you stay big, so don't get hit or you'll shrink.
2 - Self absorbed, self centered, one-upping douche. See also Jackass

Luigi:
1 - A pimp-ass motherfucker who always gets outstaged by his short, fat brother,

Zelda:
1 - Absolutely, beyond a doubt, no questions asked, the GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME EVER CREATED ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH! Anyone who hates Zelda sucks at life completely.
2 - The hoebag princess from The Legend of Zelda series that does absolutely nothing and screams a lot.

Silent Hill:
1 - an insanely scary game designed to make boys and girls defecate as soon as they are exposed to it. its fucked up.
2 - A game is nice and quiet then out of no where OMFG SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

Tekken:
1 - see gay.
2 - more like a shit videogame.
3 - The pimpest game there is. Anyone who says "OMG TEH VIRTUA FIGHTAR!" is either an anime fanboy japanophile cockshit or one of those fighting game uber nerds who study framerates and whatshit.
4 - Its the mojo that keeps you alive
5 - virtua fighter is fucking gay and tekken is nothing like street fighter. its the best fightin game out on the market to this day and if you dont like it you can suck a dick. Easily beaten but not easily mastered

Virtua Fighter:
1 - VF = Better graphics, physics, GAMEPLAY, REPLAYABILITY, LASTABILITY!!!
Teken = Better ways to mash buttons, better flashes, better CHEAP factor.
2 - Virtua fighter is a game for American wannabe jap nerds that think gay bullshit is better just for the fuck of it. Well it ain't. Hope you learned your lesson Bitch.

Street Fighter:
1 - A story about RYU's serious ego problem.
2 - The source of all school violence. That and DOOM.

That's all for now. I think I will do this again one day with different games (hopefully ones that are just as loved/hated as the ones listed above). Hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did.

*Disclaimer: The definitions in this column in no way represent the feelings of the author. If you would kindly direct your torches and pitchforks elsewhere, that would be greatly appreciated.

Fighting Golf Combat Racer -- Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro-Am Review

I knew that my luck would have to change someday. After reviewing Zack & Wiki, Super Mario Galaxy, and Assassin's Creed, I found myself staring into the beady little eyes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Zombie Ninja Pro-Am (ZNPA). This game regrettably contains neither zombies nor ninjas, and the only redeeming quality for this mess of a game are the non-gameplay portions of the disc's content.

If you are not a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then there is absolutely no reason to ever play this game. I happen to enjoy the cartoon, so I managed to siphon a fair amount of enjoyment out of the game, mostly from the four episodes of the show (one never-before seen) that reside in the Extras section, and the between-level cut scenes (which play out like another episode).

As for the game itself, it boils down to a sub-par golf game, a crappy beat-em-up, and an atrocious golf cart racer all rolled into one. The story that attempts to unify this strange combination is that Frylock receives a letter of acceptance into a golfing club and Master Shake takes control of the entire situation, stealing their neighbor Carl's car and heading out to play the most bizarre round of golf one could imagine.

Everything in ZNPA is as simple as can be. Players have the choice of a wood, two irons, a wedge, and a putter, but normally the point is just to hit the ball as far as possible without going off-course. After each shot, Shake and Frylock have to trek to the ball's resting place, fending off an onslaught of nearly every character from the series. The next shot can only be taken once every foe has been defeated, which can be quite the task sometimes. The methods by which these hostiles are dispatched are largely ineffective, from Shake's wild golf club flailing to Frylock's slow and inconsistent eye blasts. This is arguably the worst part of the game, but actually makes up the majority of it.

Occasionally, players will find themselves racing golf carts around a particular course, trying to grab boosts and bazookas in hopes of finishing first. This is done while enduring poor controls and the most frequently repeated lines of dialog ever experienced. On second thought, maybe this is the worst part of the game.

The graphics in ZNPA are not good at all. It's almost pointless to discuss its shortcomings in terms of frame rate, pop-in, textures, lighting, models, and the like, because the game is many generations behind the times, technically. The best parts of the entire presentation are the voice performances during the game's story segments. If one could extract these and put them all together in one continuous video, it would be more worthwhile than actually playing the game. At least it's possible to view them again in the Extras section.

My take-home message is this: do NOT buy this game if you aren't a big fan of the show. There is absolutely nothing here for you. If you do enjoy the show, still do NOT buy it. Rent it for the few hours it takes to experience the game and watch the included episodes, then don't think about it ever again.

An Ecclesiastical Turf War -- Assassin's Creed Review

I will be the first to admit that Assassin's Creed is not exactly the game that I anticipated it to be. What I expected was the best thing since the advent of the home game console, but what I got was simply an innovative blend of gameplay concepts, stunning graphics and sound, a stellar plot, and a few hampering issues thrown in for good measure.

The game is about the assassin Altair and his mission to eliminate a number of powerful and influential figures, as prescribed by the leader of his brotherhood. The story is of course much more in-depth, but to avoid spoilers, it can be described as a heavily-themed two-tiered plot, with twists, revelations, and moral questions that make the gamer really think, even after the game has been turned off. It is one of the better narratives that I have encountered in the videogame world in some time, with a great ending that leaves things open for more.

At first glance, the game appears to be a high-flying, fast-paced, free-roaming festival of action, but players will soon come to realize that Assassin's Creed is much the same as any other stealth-based videogame - it requires patience, planning, and precision for a player to be successful. Because the game's action scenes are so pronounced, however, the portion of the game that falls in between story segments and the execution of targets (the information gathering phase) can feel slightly less exciting in comparison.

Between climbing towers, eavesdropping on conversations, picking pockets, rescuing oppressed citizens, and helping your assassin brothers, there is always something to be done in the sandbox that is Assassin's Creed, and the more time you take to immerse yourself into the cities, the more fun it becomes. The game does its best to let the player figure out just how to proceed, especially later on in the game. Only the most basic advice from Altair's confidants hint at where to seek out information, and players are left to engineer the demise of his next victim, piece by piece. It is a rewarding process, but going through it multiple times can leave players wishing for a little more variety in the available missions.

Leading up to its release, Assassin's Creed's biggest draws were the climbing and combat systems, both of which are controlled by Ubisoft's new "puppeteering" control scheme. Controlling Altair is meant to mimic manipulating a marionette. Each face button on the controller corresponds to a particular part of his body, and all of his actions are carried out via the appropriate limb. In combat, the weapon hand attacks, the off hand grabs foes, and the feet dodge enemy steel. While navigating the environment, the feet make acrobatic leaps and propel Altair up walls. The empty hand grabs hold should he lose his grip, and his head allows him to view his surroundings more clearly.

To add to this, the control scheme is divided into "low profile" and "high profile" actions, creating an easy distinction between actions like brushing aside a member of the crowd and laying him out with a forceful shove. High profile actions are obviously more likely to alert nearby soldiers, and doing so requires Altair to run, jump, and climb until he is out of sight - and then hide until he is forgotten.

Coupled with "free running" is Altair's incredible penchant for climbing. He can climb just about any surface in the game, so long as there are proper hand and footholds in the architecture. He even reaches and steps specifically to the viable holds, and his ability to leap for the next in a series of grips is influenced heavily by what sort of support is beneath his feet. It would be difficult to make Altair's methods of vertical navigation any more realistic than this.

Visually, Assassin's Creed is simply beautiful. The middle eastern cities in which the game takes place are recreated in such painstaking detail - from high-resolution surface textures to dynamic light and shadow work, accurate representation of real world architecture, scenic vistas, etc--that one can almost place him or herself in that setting. The animation is top-notch, smooth, and lifelike. There is never a time when players might say, "that looks mechanical."

The cinematography, too, is at times unmatched. Cut scenes offer gamers a variety of captivating camera angles, which, if a button is pressed at the appropriate moments, change periodically. Many portions of the game use a focus effect that plays off of the "bird of prey" theme, blurring the field of view at its perimeter while leaving the focal point crisp and clear.

Assassin's Creed does have occasional issues, however, such as texture tears (which occur primarily at the screen's edge), and the odd misplacement of a few fallen foes. These bugs do little to detract from the overall visual experience.

The game's audio is equally as impressive. Aside from Altair's sometimes mechanical delivery, the voice performances do very well to draw the gamer into the turbulent era of the Crusades. There is consistent chatter from everywhere along the city streets, adding to the feeling that Assassin's Creed is truly alive, and the sound effects never feel forced or overdone. What's best is that (aside from those fucking beggars), the soundscape is not intrusive upon the game's beautiful score.

Assassin's Creed introduces so many new and interesting gameplay elements and ideas that it certainly had the potential to be one of the best videogames of all time. However, the fact that the game is the maiden voyage of many different ships restricts it from achieving the perfection that it could very well have been. It may even be better thought of as the foundation for future games to build upon and achieve those lofty goals. Regardless, the final product is still an excellent piece of work, even with its few problems. I can't see the justice in any serious gamer NOT playing this game.

Ground Control To Major Mario -- Super Mario Galaxy Mini-Review

Super Mario Galaxy is a wonderful experience, and as I ran, jumped, floated, crawled, climbed, swam, surfed, rolled, soared, and flung myself through its 30+ locales, I found myself wondering if this is, in fact, my favorite Mario game to date. Great gameplay, a refreshing yet nostalgic soundtrack, the best graphics on the Wii, and excellent level design make it at least the best game on the system.

It is not without its flaws, though. The camera can be restrictive in terms of total viewing area, and although usually quite smart, sometimes obscures the player's view by positioning itself behind parts of the environment. Another nit-picky gripe is that the levels sometimes blow by so quickly that players might be left wanting to explore more, and also that the small masses of land can feel like narrow, linear corridors through which players are guided on their way to the goal.

To keep this mini-review short and sweet, I'll leave you with this: Super Mario Galaxy is the best game on the Wii, and one of the best Mario games ever. Buy it.

You Got The Sunday Paper In My XBLA -- Word Puzzle Review

Have you ever opened up your favorite newspaper and headed straight for the crossword puzzle, jumble, cryptoquip, and word search residing somewhere in the middle? I have, and working on the four of those could be pretty enjoyable on a boring morning. Word Puzzle is basically like a full book of just one of those four (arguably the least stimulating one) - the word search.

For a whopping 800 MS points, players enjoy finding words on the traditional letter grids, as well as on irregularly-shaped arrangements and four-sided 3D boards. The game has a variety of play modes, although the goal is invariably "find the words" in any given situation.

The Arcade mode is somewhat of a joke, because while there are special bonuses for finding words in rapid succession and there is a [much too lengthy to be of any significance] time limit on each set of words, the game highlights the first or last letter of each. To put it plainly, this mode's utter lack of any challenge whatsoever makes it simply a waste of time. (Well, I rescind my statement. Those who don't know how to read will find this mode slightly challenging)

Survival mode is the cream of the Word Puzzle crop, and can actually become difficult during the final stage. The point in Survival mode is to locate all of the special 'bomb words' before the timer runs down. The best part is that the words are no longer tipped as in Arcade mode. Finding the other words on the list is unnecessary, because once the highlighted ones are crossed off, the player has successfully passed the level. Each of the eight three-puzzle areas comes complete with an extra bonus game where players must find as many words as they can within about 10 seconds.

Free Play mode is, again, valueless. Players choose a board style and game type (either themed words or synonyms/antonyms) and then go at it at their own pace. It gets old fast, and worse yet is that after a short stint of phonetic spelunking, words begin to recur often. This applies to all game modes.

Multiplayer exists in both local and online flavors. Players can compete in a single-grid race to locate the most words from a given list. The winners' bragging rights are minimal, but I'm sure some crazed competitive gamer will find a way to glorify these sorts of victories.

There isn't much more to say about Word Puzzle. It is your Sunday newspaper's word search with a little extra incentive and competitive play thrown, but the gameplay isn't as good. Plus, it will run you about $10, which to me is totally unacceptable. A one-week rental of a feature-length Xbox 360 title would certainly be more satisfying, and would leave you with enough money to buy yourself a snack or two.

Helping Games: Free Rice

You hear a lot about the horrors that our beloved interactive virtual experiences visit upon society – school shootings, curbside beatings, subway assaults, theft, breaking-and-entering, drug use, child abuse, domestic violence, teenage promiscuity, truancy...homosexuality (“god” says that's a no-no)...suicide...

Yup, videogames cause all of those, just in case you haven't noticed.

If you really haven't noticed, then you haven't been paying attention, because that's just about all the mainstream, American dream press the videogame industry gets nowadays. Games are described as “violent shooters” instead of “sci-fi action” or “violent gore-fests” rather than “survival horror.” The negativity seems nearly insuperable, but there are ways for the industry to remove some of that taint.

I recently discovered a little website called Free Rice (www.freerice.com), and posted a news story about it. Basically, it is a multiple-choice vocabulary quiz that has no end, and for every correct answer, 10 grains of rice are donated to hungry people across the world. Over the past month, the project has been successful enough to deliver the equivalent of about 155 THOUSAND bowls of rice with just a few clicks per person.

This is the type of press that the industry needs. More importantly, this is the type of undertaking that the world needs. Forget the games industry; think of the many causes such initiatives could assist. It's so simple, no?

Some might argue that Free Rice is not really a videogame, because is actually more akin to a practice SAT exam (yeah...maybe that's true). Considering the breadth of content that is appearing under the umbrella qualification of “videogames,” though, why is it not? It has a goal, an input action, consequences, rewards, etc. It's even entertaining...to nerds (and gaming columnists).

Okay, so if Free Rice isn't technically a “videogame”...big deal. The point is that “real” videogames can reach just as far as Free Rice. Head shots in competitive first-person shooters can be worth fractions of pennies donated to the efforts to bring peace to war-torn areas of the world. Collecting certain items in MMORPGs can do the same for medical research...or anything. The possibilities are endless--the effort simply needs to be made.

Videogames are a powerful medium. Game-makers stand in a powerful forum. Gamers are a powerful force. We just need the right ideas to move us in the right direction, and the actions to back those ideas up.

(P.S. - Everyone, play the Free Rice game, will ya? It takes no time, and with many of us giving none of our time, we can do a lot. I currently have the site set as my homepage and I donate 100 - 200 grains of rice each time I open Firefox. Do it with me.)

Your Grip Is Key -- Zack & Wiki: Quest For Barbaros' Treasure Review

Capcom has been making a habit of publishing unique and enjoyable videogames lately -- Okami and Dead Rising come to mind. That trend continues with Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure, a puzzle/adventure game that puts heavy emphasis on environment interaction, and makes very practical use of the Wii remote.

Zack & Wiki is the story of a treasure hunter named Zack and his magical flying monkey sidekick, Wiki. It's billed as an adventure game, but is more of a puzzle game that ate its Wheaties. Players actually choose the level they would like to attempt from a map screen, and are later allowed to re-play them in any order, any number of times. The storyline is fairly weak, and with little continuity between areas, the experience is ultimately something slightly different from the classic point-and-click adventures that its gameplay resembles at first glance.

Instead, Zack & Wiki is a completely fresh piece of software that introduces innovative ways of solving puzzles faced by its protagonists. Zack is directed around each level using the infrared pointer of the Wii remote. Players click with the A button, and Zack either scurries to the location or interacts with the object that was selected. It's very simple, and although the pointer is occasionally inaccurate, novice gamers will likely be attracted to Zack & Wiki because it is so easily accessible. Then the fun begins.

When Zack examines somethings, the view changes, and players are asked to manipulate the object using the motion sensing Wii remote. For example, pulling a lever is accomplished by reaching forward with the remote held vertically, then yanking backwards, just as if the player was really operating the control. Other manipulations include hammering, sawing, turning keys, etc. Like the game says, "Your grip on the Wii remote is the key."

There are a few gestures that can be a bit finicky leading to brief frustrations now and again, and the way the game displays the proper "Wii remote grip" before each and every manipulation is slightly insulting. Overall, though, playing with the various items and parts of the environment is very enjoyable. These new and interesting gameplay mechanics should be enough to satisfy veteran gamers just as much as the newbies.

One thing worth noting is that the puzzles in Zack & Wiki usually make a good deal of sense, unlike a lot of the ridiculously thought out sequences in PC adventure games. Unfortunately, the game still contains a few situations that can only be figured out after death is dealt, meaning trial-and-error gameplay is forced upon the player. The deaths are indeed humorous (surprisingly brutal in concept; very light in presentation), but that experimental approach to success seems very dated.

The music in Zack & Wiki also feels a bit dated. While the tracks are all suited to the game's theme and are varied enough remain interesting, it would have been nice to hear slightly more sophisticated sound quality. The graphics, on the other hand, do not disappoint (except for the intermittent dips in frame rate). The Wind Waker -esque cel shading is crisp and bright, perfectly befitting a pirate's adventure. As a matter of fact, the game's entire audio/visual presentation appears to borrow from the aforementioned seafaring adventure. It even features similar short, unintelligible, repetitive, and oftentimes annoying vocal expressions from most of its characters.

Zack & Wiki is clearly not flawless, but in the end, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Engrossing gameplay is the focal point, and the game delivers in that area. Additionally, I feel Zack & Wiki may very well open the floodgates of more innovative Wii games, acting as a primer for other developers to build from. Go ahead and try out Zack & Wiki, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Semi-Virtual Relationships: Games We Love

I've been doing a bit of thinking lately, and one thing my mind has come to dwell on is the comparison between interpersonal relationships and the relationships that people develop with their videogames. Of course there are very very obvious differences between the two, but let's suppress our urges to discard the thought for just a moment.

Gamers love their games, and they love them for a variety of reasons. I won't go around making blanket statements about that, claiming one motivation over another, but what I will say is that some gamers find some degree of companionship with select synergistic experiences.

One way this can happen is through the characters in the story. Just like in any good book, the audience is meant to form a type of bond with the personalities they are presented with. Over the course of the narrative, readers and players come to care for some characters and hate others. Either way, they come to understand them - their thoughts, behaviors, etc. - and have at least a slight connection with them. Clearly, this sort of "relationship" is more common in the realm of RPGs and other story-driven works.

Another way gamers can form relationships with videogames is via the feelings they experience while taking in the software's content. It is possible that the internal response to the game can effectively take the place of the game itself, and the player later relates to those feelings when the cue (the game) is recalled. It is as if the game, the feelings evoked by that game, and the relationship between the player and the game are all one and the same. These feelings persist well beyond the lifespan of the game itself (explaining why I still think Goldeneye is great, even though it sucks by today's standards).

That brings me to the idea of "firsts." We always remember our firsts. I fondly remember my first kiss, first sexual experience, first home run, first in-school suspension, first alcoholic beverage, etc. It stands to reason that there is a special place in every gamer's memory for their firsts, as well. Do you remember your first game? How about the first of a specific genre, or maybe the first to introduce you to that genre? Do you remember your first journey into the third dimension of the gaming world? How about your first gaming console? I imagine the answer to these questions is usually "yes."

We all remember our first loves. There is a mental pedestal reserved just for that memory to rest upon. Everything that comes later on is inevitably compared to that milestone, and even as time goes by, the perception of that relationship persists. This is not dissimilar to the high regard in which gamers hold their early interactive experiences. Even games that seem rather generic now may have had a greater significance at the time of their release. Take Halo, for example. The first game in the series was a basic FPS that happened to be one of the first big game experiences for an entire generation of gamers. You could walk into almost any dorm room and find it there, simply because it was the flagship Xbox title, and therefore an icon to rally behind. It's a hometown hero and it's a first love.

Another first love is the ever-popular Final Fantasy 7. I went out and bought a trusty suit of e-armor before even mentioning the title because it is so widely and fervently adored. If you have never played FF7, I recommend you go try it and note your feelings. Nowadays, the game looks, plays, and FEELS like crap. (the music is still good) Anyone who was introduced to the Final Fantasy series, the RPG genre, or the Playstation era by this game, however, is a lifelong fan. The relationship they have formed with this game can NEVER be broken. The added bonus in this case is that it is not only the first PS1 Final Fantasy installment and the first to be presented in 3D, but it also contains a wealth of characters to bond with and managed to elicit the emotional response of its audience in a variety of ways. It was the first game to outright kill a character in the player's party! If there is any piece of interactive entertainment that illustrates what I am getting at in this column, FF7 is it.

And there will be more. Gamers will inevitably fall in love with certain games, regardless of their quality or popularity - and that's ok. I just hope that we don't make ourselves out to be crazed social outcasts with cultish, electro-erotic tendencies...

Concept: Beauty In Simplicity -- Portal Mini-Review

Although the present gaming era is one of huge budgets and epic productions, there has been a sizable insurgency of simple yet fun gameplay-oriented titles.

These games are most readily available via digital distribution avenues such as Xbox Live Arcade or the good old internet, and are most often created by small, independent developers.

Games such as these, which are rarely technical marvels, usually thrive on the strength of one or two key gameplay concepts, which are either completely fresh ideas or are purposefully pushed to their limits, squeezing as much raw gaming utopia out of them as possible.

A recently released retail "box" included a gaming experience much like these simple flash titles or thumbdrive-sized downloads, but also happened to be created by a big-name development studio, and happened to run on a sophisticated 3D game engine.

The package, of course, is the critically-acclaimed Orange Box, and the specific game in question is the brilliant Portal. Portal, even though it is essentially a series of rooms that all set the same goal for the player (find a way to the exit), relies on a fresh new concept with nearly infinite possibilities. Yes, Prey made use of portals long before Valve's first-person puzzle game, but Portal has now given the player the freedom to navigate space in just about any way imaginable.

This game is not an exercise in "walk through portal A and exit portal B FTW"--it is a complex, thought-provoking process of flying through portal after portal, making use of elevation, momentum and general laws of physics to access areas that otherwise seem impossible to reach.

Just like other, more simple concept games, the joy of Portal lies in the manipulation of the tools and gameplay mechanics offered to the user, with all else becoming unnecessary. It is an idea-driven game, rather than a content-driven one, and it works. To me, >Portal could even be equated to the timeless classic Tetris in this regard.

Even without the excellent voice acting and dry humor found in the game, Portal stands as a great example of a well-developed concept driving a game to greatness. It is a joy to play, from beginning to end.

Like the song says, "This game is a triumph. I'm making a note here: huge success. It's hard to overstate our satisfaction."

Cleanin' Up -- Dewy's Adventure Review

Dewy's Adventure, from the same team that brought us Elebits, is a simple game. Some might even call it childish -- and I'd agree with them. What I wouldn't say, however, is that the game is solely for children. There's enough here to keep any open-minded gamer interested for at least a little while, despite its simplicity.

As explained in the game's opening segment (where the voice is borderline horrifying) this is the story of Dewy, a small water droplet who is on a mission to save his pristine world from the Black Water that threatens to destroy it. In the process, he must rescue the Eau -- the funny-shaped inhabitants of the land -- from the evil Don Hedron. The theme is somewhat reminiscent of the de-sludging and Pianta rescuing in Super Mario Sunshine, although the games play much differently.

Dewy's Adventure is a novel work, and players may get a sensation similar to the one brought about by the innovative Loco Roco. The game puts the Wii remote to good use, requiring players to tilt the device in order to move Dewy around his world. Imagine directing a marble sitting on top of the remote and you'll get the picture (Marble Madness for the modern gaming era). The point is to reach the end of each stage while freeing as many Eau as possible from the Black Water. It plays something like Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz, except jumping is not controlled with a flick of the wrist, but instead with the 2 button (and there's more of it). Special gestures are reserved for actions such as creating a gust of wind (shake the Wii-mote up and down) or calling forth an earthquake (shake the remote side-to-side), as well as context-sensitive wagglings during boss battles and to interact with certain parts of the environment.

Being made of high quality H2O, Dewy can use the air temperature to his advantage. Players can raise or lower the temperature with the d-pad, after which it gradually returns to normal. While in the altered climate, though, Dewy takes on new identities as either a block of ice or a small cloud of water vapor. Each of these forms has its advantages. In ice form, Dewy is fast and lethal, with a more advanced attack than in liquid form. He can also travel safely across now-frozen bodies of water. In mist form, he can target his foes and fire bolts of lightning that either deal damage or leave them stunned and vulnerable.

The controls work well for the most part, but like that age-old classic Marble Madness, can take some getting used to. Players may find themselves falling off ledges more often than they'd like - especially on narrow pathways - but after a bit of practice (and tweaking the tilt sensitivity), the controls become more amicable. Soon, navigating obstacles, saving Eau, defeating enemies, activating switches, and collecting items becomes second nature. Unfortunately, it can also get a bit boring over time, and the game's extras do little to ease that.

Accessible from the Hotori Village, which acts as a hub world, are a handful of galleries for characters, music, and tips players have encountered throughout the game, as well as a place to view photos (read: screenshots) they have taken. It's nothing very exciting, and likely will not captivate anyone but the most impressionable of small children.

In addition to the main story mode, Dewy's Adventure also includes what is called Goody Mode. Here, players have access to a group of single- or multi-player games, as well as a level editor in which to create backdrops for those defeat-all-enemies, collect-all-stars, and time attack tasks. The level editor is a nice touch, but players will soon come to realize that the effort tends to outstrip the reward, as original levels just don't seem to play as well as the prefab ones. You can trade levels over the internet, though, so at least you can share your defeat with friends.

Graphically, the game has a whimsical storybook appeal to it, but nothing more. It is a simple visual representation with minimal assets and effects. The environments could have easily appeared on videogame hardware of generations past. As for the audio, it is nothing but simple, short loops and lots of repetitive character vociferations

Dewy's Adventure is not for everyone, but although the game seems to target the more youthful demographic, it has the potential to appeal to individuals from all age groups. Those gamers who are interested in new, offbeat titles might want to give it a try, but don't expect to be floored by any aspect of the production. I'd recommend a rental.

Renaming The Industry: Forgetting "Videogames"

"Videogames" are a form of art/entertainment that are still only in the equivalent of their toddler years. As such, the gaming industry has been met with varying degrees of neophobic reactionism not at all dissimilar to the earlier responses to television, rock n' roll, comics, heavy metal, certain genres of books, etc.

This, of course, is old news. I imagine that if you have been at all interested in "videogames" and have had access to the internet over the past decade, you've probably read this very sentiment hundreds of times before. Why? Why after so much attention has the issue not gone away?

I feel the mainstream perception of "videogames" has very much to do with the industry's origins as a child-focused endeavor, and even though the scope of the business has broadened widely since then, people are still stuck with outmoded points-of-view.

It may very well be that the cause for this retarded (defined as delayed or impeded) view of the industry partially lies in the also outdated terminology used to describe the medium. "Videogames" (and now you understand the usage of quotation marks) are no longer just a subset of toys and games. They are clearly distinguished from this crude classification by a number of more complex and meaningful characteristics - they are not just for kids anymore.

To remove the "toy" label from this product, a renaming of the medium is in order. How can we allow such a rich amalgam of productions to be identified so simply as "games"? The term "videogame," when broken down to its most simplistic definition, means 'a game that is characterized by its visual properties.' The content on the discs we insert into our consoles and computers every day are far more than that.

What then, should these pieces of software be called, if they are to be taken more seriously and treated with greater respect out there in the "real" world? Well, I have pondered this question for quite some time now, and being the type of person who takes a half-hour to name his role-playing game protagonists, it was an unsurprisingly difficult task.

The proposed name could be anything. From a simple made-up word to a carefully considered derivation from other terms, any combination of letters would suffice. I tend to gravitate toward a meaningful label, however, preferably alluding to some of the traits that define "videogames."

Follow similar conventions, the word "movie" arose around 1910, a shortened version of the phrase "moving picture," and the word "book" comes from the German term for beechwood trees. In order to rename "videogames," it first needs to be clear just what "videogames" are.

Videogames are:

interactive
sensory
stimuli
entertainment
software
art
thematic
narrative
expressive
psychological

Of course many other adjectives describe "videogames," and many other nouns incorporate them, but this list can serve as an example of some of the medium's most important attributes.

After the list, a necessary consideration is that the designated label must be able to stand alone, without the use of preambles such as "piece of" or "work of." Simple pluralization must also be possible, and it should not be a homophone or homonym of any existing word.

What I have come up with at this point is, well, nothing yet, but I am wracking my brain to invent the perfect term.

While I may not have the revolutionary lexeme that will propel gaming past prepubescence, I do have my own input combined with the mental prowess of all of my fellow gamers, who may, after reading this article, agree that a change is necessary. If you have any good ideas, don't hesitate to send them my way via a comment or email.

EDIT 11/04: I was just looking up Latin roots, and came up with "syn" (together) and "peritus" (experience).

Perisyn? sounds funny, doesn't it? Hmm...drawing board awaits...
Synper? Sinper? Syper? Sype?
Sype? (long i sound)

To me, the most important words are interactive and experience. Videogames are more than just entertainment, so I use experience. Their interactivity is what separates them from other mediums, so that descriptor is paramount. The word virtual may be useful, but I feel it sort of unnecessary because the act of gaming is real even though the content is fictional. Rather, the word thematic better describes their content.

The root for thematic is "tesme" (silent s). For our purposes "tem" would suffice, I guess.
The word participate could also take the place of interactive

I think sype is growing on me... "I'm going to buy a couple of sypes." "Sypers love Xbox." "Syping is a growing hobby in the US."

Is Silence Golden? Not Always

Throughout the years, I've become familiar with all manner of games, presented in a myriad of ways and told from many different perspectives. One particular method of delivering a gaming experience to the audience has always captured my attention, and that is through the use of the silent protagonist. At times, I feel this technique works perfectly, but on other occasions, it just doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense.

The silent protagonist was not always an intentional device. Back when gaming was young, and technology was...low, putting voices in videogames was barely an option to be considered. It wasn't until CD-based software that speech could be included on a grand scale. Now, the capacity of game media has grown so much that character voice-overs are a somewhat ubiquitous feature. Why, then, do developers still choose to keep certain lead characters silent? Furthermore, why are there games without voice-overs that still don't include even written dialog for the main character?

It is true that sometimes players are meant to feel like they are walking in the protagonist's shoes, but how effective can that be in the types of games that most often feature silent heroes? Putting a voice to a character may hinder a player's ability to properly identify with them, but oftentimes the plot itself is enough to do so. For some reason, silent protagonists tend to show up in games that rely on heavy narrative and storytelling.

Role-playing games are notorious for their silent heroes, and it just doesn't make much sense to me. Here is a genre whose main focus is to tell an epic tale, from beginning to end - like a novel. As such, character development is paramount in these games, so how does one justify skimping on the most important character in the game? You may argue that in silence, character development can still be achieved, but without a voice (be it spoken or written) these characters INSTANTLY lose a measure of personality and also distance the audience from more completely understanding their thoughts, motives, and behaviors.

Perspective is important. When you play Chrono Trigger, for example, or even The Legend of Zelda, you are essentially watching a story unfold before your eyes. The entirety of the game is viewed from a third-person perspective. There can be little fusion of identity if the player is never allowed to actually embody the character in question. The presence of the character in the player's visual field acts only as a barrier. I am me, Link is Link, and can I see where I end and where he begins. We are not one.

On the other hand, sometimes the idea of a silent protagonist is very effective. Gordon Freeman of the Half-Life series (and others like him) is a very loosely defined character, and is therefore very easy to "turn into." Gamers know only a few things about him, and the rest comes via gameplay - through interactions with other characters and participation in the game's events. The silent lead experiences and, more importantly, responds to it all no differently than the player does.

Perspective is still key. The first-person point-of-view is the most effective for use with a silent protagonist. Players share their eyes, ears, hands, feet, and, of course, voice. Again, the stimulus and the response for both the player and the character are equivalent. These games don't play like storybooks.

Of course there will be stories where the main character is actually a damn mute, but barring all of those games, I feel the silent protagonist should be implemented only where it makes sense. When the gamer is meant to become a character, a voice is unnecessary; when the gamer is meant to behold a character, he or she should speak.

If They Were Halo, They'd Be Kings

The massive anticipation is over. Halo 3 launch day has come and gone with great fanfare - big events, long lines, eager fans, master chief, etc. In the first 24-hour period alone, the game grossed over $170 million. To put that in terms of copies sold, it's roughly equivalent to more than 2.8 million. Of those, 1.7 million copies were pre-sold.

With Halo 3 riding high on the extreme marketing push made by Microsoft and Bungie, one has to wonder if it would have experienced such success without it. More so, it is interesting to ponder what games might have done just as well as Halo 3 had they received the same tender loving care from their respective marketing departments.

I have gone through a slew of recent releases, and come up with a pair of games that may very well have been this year's super-sellers had they been pushed down consumers' throats the same way that Halo 3 was.

Bioshock is arguably the best game of 2007. It received multiple "best of E3 honors, as well as "best Xbox 360 game" at the 2007 Games Convention in Leipzig, Germany. Also the third in a series, Bioshock is the spiritual successor to a pair of games that routinely land on critics' "top videogames of all time" lists - System Shock and System Shock 2.

It's rich storyline and excellent gameplay were apparently not enough to match the might of Halo 3, however. Halo 3 managed to sell more copies prior to release than Bioshock had done with more than 2 weeks of shelf time. As of September 10th, 2K's shooter was reported to have shifted 1.5 million copies.

Bioshock's Gamerankings and Metacritic ratings are both a full point higher than those of Halo 3, even though nearly twice as many scores have been recorded yet it's total sales pale in comparison.

Metroid Prime 3 is widely considered the best original Wii title to date. It is the third part of the critically acclaimed 3-D series in one of Nintendo's biggest franchises. This is beside the fact that the much earlier Super Metroid for the SNES topped EGM's infamous Top 100 Games of All Time, and has since appeared in the top 20 range of nearly every similar list since. Still, Metroid Prime 3 sold a mere 10th of Halo 3's day one numbers in the first week after release.

The advertising behind this sales performance? A downloadable Wii channel with videos and pictures of the game, along with Virtual Console releases of the first two games in the Metroid franchise. That sort of isolated advertising is not exactly what one would expect to lead to Haloesque sales...and it didn't.

So what would happen if all of these games had equal marketing muscle backing them? Well, I'm no Michael Pachter, but I imagine it would lead to greater sales and fan support. Either of these stellar sequels could have shared in the success of Halo 3, but-- Hey, look at that! The Halo 3 "Believe" commercial is on TV.