Rumble | Joystiq Versus Kotaku

We here at Game Crush understand that there are literally hundreds -- thousands -- of video game blogs out there. We by no means try to compete with those that deliver a flood of news, rumors, and the like. Some of those big name blogs have tons of writers and spam readers throughout the day with a bunch of items that I imagine most just skim through anyway (that's what I do, at least). In any case, I've decided to pit the two biggest names on the blog list against one another in a Google-esque battle to the death. Like Achilles and Hector, only one will emerge victorious.

So, after a particularly gruesome battle, Joystiq and its clever Q-infused name end up dragging its kill behind the chariot for all to see. You can check out the results of this search for yourselves, here.

Flashback -- Resident Evil 4 Review

So I mentioned Resident Evil 4 a few days ago, and definitely ripped on it a bit. It's been on my mind as of late, because I recently introduced it to my girlfriend, Carolyn, and she became so addicted to it that she indulged in marathon sessions, foregoing schoolwork and anything else that wasn't absolutely essential to her survival. After finishing, she began a second round...just like I remember doing 2 years ago. It has been 777 days since RE4 was release in the US, and in honor of the Killer 7 magnum (which costs 77700 pesetas in the game), I have decided to offer a semi-retro review of my favorite Gamecube game, and easily my 2005 Game of the Year. So, from the Eddie R Inzauto archives, dated January 11th, 2005, here is my review entitled:

Introducing a brand new type of game. RE4 is a masterpiece.
Sometimes, a game comes along that reinvents or redefines video games as we know them. Super Mario 64 did it, as did The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. I only mention these games to put into perspective where Resident Evil 4 stands among video games up to this point. While it does not totally reinvent gaming, it will prove to be a new benchmark for the industry. Capcom's latest is a masterpiece, and developers should take a lesson from it, especially in what I like to call 'interactive cinematics.' This is what RE4 has invented.

The Resident Evil franchise has a history dating back to 1996, when the first of the zombie-infested series was released on the Playstation. This game alone managed to create a whole new genre, and coined the phrase, “survival horror.” Numerous sequels followed, as well as many copycat titles, exhausting the gameplay style, and leaving some gamers jaded by it. There are likely as many RE haters as there are fans, but with the release of RE4, and the reinvention of the series, these two groups can join together and enjoy again what began nearly a decade ago.

Resident Evil 4 stars Leon S. Kennedy, of RE2 fame, who is on a mission to rescue the president's daughter Ashley from a remote location in the European countryside. Apparently, she is being held in a small village, so Leon goes to investigate. No sooner does he set foot in this little town than he is attacked by a group of zomb- oh, did I fail to mention that there are no zombies in the game? None. Leon is attacked by a group of crazed villagers, and the survival horror has begun.

Probably the first noticeable difference to anyone familiar with the series is the new camera system. No longer will the action be shot from various odd angles, while gamers struggle to orient themselves to the ever-changing view. In RE4, all the action is viewed from behind Leon, so this control problem is never an issue - even with a fundamentally unchanged control scheme. Up always moves forward, down always moves backward, and left and right are always left and right, but since the camera always follows Leon, it is now the most optimal and intuitive setup.


With the new camera system in place, just as controlling Leon becomes second nature, viewing the world he must explore also feels much more natural. You see what Leon sees, which is much more than the old camera style would ever allow. While this may sound like it takes away some of the fear associated with the inability to see more than a few paces in front of you, it only serves to heighten the sense of fright and danger. Now, it always feels as though someone, or something, is creeping up behind you.

Usually, there IS something there threatening you, and throughout the 20-hour adventure you'll encounter enemies like the Ganado (villagers) in many different environments. You'll see forests, caves, villages, a castle, lakes, lava, towers, ruins, and more. Level design ranges from clever to superb, and never disappoints. You'll even get to explore a little bit of it as the unarmed Ashley. Fun...?

Another innovation of Resident Evil 4 is the revamped inventory system. Now you can buy your weapons from a mysterious merchant. Your money comes from enemies, as well as the sale of certain items you find along the way. Basically, all the jewels that would've been used as keys in past RE games are now just there to earn you money. With this money, you choose from the widest selection of weapons in any survival horror game, each of which can be upgraded about a dozen times. This process is implemented very well, and adds a sort of RPG element and depth to the gameplay.

As mentioned earlier, the control scheme is nearly identical to RE games of old. There is still no analog movement, meaning you must hold down the B button to run. A degree of freedom HAS been added to weapon usage, however. To do so you hold the R button, aim, and press A to fire. Sounds like any other RE game, but by aim, I really do mean aim. When the camera pulls in close and looks over Leon's shoulder, you have full control over where the shots will be fired. This is punctuated nicely by the red laser that appears on your enemies' heads, arms, legs, chests, etc. before you let the lead fly.


The ability to target any part of the enemy adds to the game immensely. You will find yourself aiming at different body parts based on the situation at hand. Head shots are nice (and often result in incredible blood and gore), but when twenty crazed lunatics are attacking you at once and you're left with only handgun ammo, you may opt to shoot at main body mass. Leon's aim is not perfect, and head shots are more difficult due to the jitter of the laser sight. At other times, it may be useful to shoot an axe-thrower's arm, causing him to drop his weapon, or it may be wiser still to shoot that stick of dynamite the guy next to him is carrying.
I found myself spending a lot of time shooting enemies in the kneecaps, mostly because the subsequent face-first plunge is quite satisfying, and very effective.

The physics when it comes to these firefights are excellent. Fallen enemies trip up others, heavy fire knocks your assailants back into each other, and picking off an unsuspecting Ganado who has wandered too close to a cliff will send him sailing clear over the edge.

There are a couple of things that would improve the control of RE4, however. Something certainly on the minds of many gamers is strafing. My opinion on this, though, is that the addition of strafing would make for a very different experience, and might ultimately detract from the game's style. More often, Leon could benefit from a quick weapon swap. Something as simple as a 'last weapon' button would've been great, and would make combat even more enjoyable.

Sometimes, the fight comes in too close for comfort, and Leon must resort to hand-to-hand combat. Lucky for you, the combat knife is now mapped to the L button, just as your guns are to the R button. Even more fortunate is the fact that Leon can perform a variety of context sensitive actions during combat, as well as when he's not under attack. If an enemy gets too close for comfort, a quick tap of the A button unleashes a mighty roundhouse kick, sending him flying backwards. Leon can also do things like knock down ladders (that flail-wielding psychos will be climbing), jump through windows, make use of various helpful environmental objects, and even deliver a suplex or two.


The pinnacle of combat in Resident Evil 4 is by far its extraordinary boss encounters, which may very well be the best of all video games. Capcom has managed to mix the context sensitive actions into boss battles so seamlessly and so impressively that these high-adrenaline, awe-inspiring clashes between Leon and a myriad of unique and massive villains will remain on your mind for days.

The fine integration of context sensitive commands doesn't stop at boss battles, either. A simple walk in the woods can turn into a frantic escape from certain death, all determined by the player's reflexes and awareness. And when it comes to cutscenes, don't put down your controller...ever. Even the usual safety of a cutscene can't protect you from the dangers of Resident Evil 4. Rest on your laurels and you'll be the recipient of an axe blade; act swiftly and you'll free yourself from a world of pain.

Describing the graphics of Resident Evil 4 is quite easy to do. Simply put, these are the best visuals on a console game, and even rival the best in PC gaming. Everything in the game is photo-realistic, including the most uncanny of enemies. The character models are excellent, not only from a technical standpoint, but artistically as well.

The level of detail in RE4's environments exceeds those of the pre-rendered backgrounds of Resident Evils past, and this game is fully 3-D! One can literally count the blades of grass or notches in a piece of wood, and the fire effects are phenomenal. The lighting is incredible, as well. Ominous shadows always add to the mood of the game, and when the lightning starts to flash, the alternating illumination and darkness makes for one of the most atmospheric games you could ask for.


It is evident that a great amount of time and effort went into producing what you see throughout Resident Evil 4. For example, there is a particular enemy that you have to shoot in the head to kill, and most likely, you'd be using a zoomed-in sniper rifle. Capcom knew this, of course, so they made the best damn head possible. That's polish.

Also quite shiny is the audio of Resident Evil 4, which runs in Dolby Pro Logic II. The voice acting is much improved over past Resident Evils, and lines are delivered with accurate feeling and intonation. From a series with dark roots in voice acting, the level of effectiveness is certainly welcome. Speech is very well synced to lip movement, as well. Besides the main dialog, you will find that your enemies don't shut up, and are always speaking in threatening, unnerving voices to make you feel that much more tense. Plus, they speak Spanish, which leaves many of us in the dark, not knowing what they are saying.

The overall atmosphere of the game is further heightened by the quality soundtrack, which is always appropriate, and ranges from moody and foreboding to intense and exciting. Like so many other aspects of the game, it is seamless, and is just one part of a total experience presented to the gamer.

One could refer to the entire game as a perpetual series of 'scenes,' because the production values of RE4 are so incredible, rivaling many feature films. The pacing is nearly perfect. The action crescendos and decrescendos throughout the game, balancing fierce confrontation with suspenseful exploration, and the choreography and cinematography are amazing. Every part of the game comes together, and comes together well. The whole package is what I call 'interactive cinematics,' and it will make you stop and say out loud, "wow," "whoa" and "phew" on multiple occasions.

You MUST buy this game...



A glowing review, in retrospect, but I think it was well-deserved. Even without mentioning the Mercenaries minigame (a meaty, never-ending romp that could be called "Resident Evil 4 Arcade") or Assignment Ada (a short foray into the life of Ada Wong), Resident Evil 4 stands firm as one of the best games out there... and it's 2 years old. New style scoring is a no-brainer:

The Count | Top 10 Most Badass Video Game Characters

The story-driven game has become increasingly popular over the last console generation, and has been around even longer. The best video game plots rely on the game's cast of characters to form a strong story. Without great characters, there is little to invite gamers' interest in the title, and being that the key demographic for video games is something like 17-24 year old males, it stands to reason that the most well-received characters will be the uber-BADASSES in town. So without further ado, here's the Game Crush Top 10 Most Badass Video Game Characters (in no particular order, of course).

Kratos - The man is a Spartan, he is one of the fiercest warriors of all time, and he even gets down with menage-a-trois in his games. That's badass. Not to mention the fact that he single-handedly vanquishes a colossal Hydra, multiple cyclops', minotaurs, ogres, gorgons, sirens and a whole slew of other beasts. His Tuesday afternoon list of things to kill before dinner reads like a who's who of Greek mythology, and oh yeah, he destroys Ares and takes his throne, only after dying and subsequently fighting his way OUT of the underworld. Besides all that, he's just MEAN, and will rip an innocent peasant in half WITH HIS BARE HANDS simply for some health orbs. I would certainly sh*t my pants if Kratos was mad at me.

Duke Nukem - "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all outta gum." Of all the characters in all video games, Duke Nukem may very well have the coolest collection of one-liners out there. Besides that obvious fact, he wanders around killing aliens with kick-ass weapons, all while wearing sunglasses and a red wife-beater. The king of sh*t-talking takes his badass level through the roof when he takes a dump on an enemy's FACE. "Hail to the King, baby!"

Ryu Hayabusa - I once saw Ryu cut off the heads of FIVE men in a single lunging slice....I could stop there, but then I'd be neglecting the fact that he's so agile that he can damn near fly, is a master of all manner of weaponry, and knows MAGIC. Besides all this, in his most recent adventure, alone, he eradicates three dragons, multiple tanks and helicopters, four giant worms of varying elemental infusion, a giant ice beast, two tentacle monsters, two...Almas...the evil warlord, Doku (twice), and one of the most insane final bosses in gaming. He decapitates about thirty dozen ninjas along the way...

Dante - Dante is flashy and defiant, and will kick a group of enemies' asses while eating a slice of pizza. He rocks both a gun and a sword at the same time, and uses both like a pro. He is a demon hunter who is half-demon himself, and he is well-know for taking on grotesque monsters of gigantic proportions. Not only does he sport trend-setting, Gothic duds, but he also named his one-man business "Devil May Cry." If that's not badass, then what is?

Agent 47 - He is a professional assassin, he walks around in a suit, he wears black gloves, and he's bald. He even has a barcode tattooed on the back of his neck, plainly visible as he sneaks up on and chokes the life out of armed soldier after armed soldier. He rarely utters a word, but his actions more than speak for themselves. What would normally be classified as serial murder is all in a day's work for Agent 47, and he does it with no questions, no hesitation, and no remorse...and he's good at it.

Sephiroth - It's almost obligatory that I include the most famous Final Fantasy bad guy ever. The fact of the matter, though, is that he's deserving of the honor. From the music that accompanies his every appearance, to his 86-foot katana, to his sinister...hair, he is badass through and through. He kills a fully-developed playable party member halfway through the game...who DOES that? What an *sshole! Besides, the whole stop-Cloud-in-mid-air-as-he-falls-like-a-falcon-from-10-stories-up-at-200-miles-per-hour-all -while-remaining-ridiculously-calm-and-cool-and-at-the-same-time-sprouting-a-10-foot-sword-out-of-nowhere move could earn him a spot here by itself.

Garcian Smith - Although Garcian is certifiably insane and suffers from severe psychological torment, that doesn't stop him from being one very bad man. He won't hesitate to fire the 6th bullet in a game of Russian Roulette, and carries an attache case full of weapons wherever he goes. A killer from the time he was a child, he has grown into a mountain of an assassin. He has no apparent emotion left, and even whistles tunes to himself while he works.

James Earl Cash - This guy is one of the rawest video game characters there is. He has already been incarcerated for murder when he finds himself playing the lead role in a sick game of slaughter. He has to kill in order to survive, and he does so in only the most brutal fashion. Using anything from a plastic bag to a shotgun, James Earl Cash manages to obliterate his enemies, one by one. He never shows any mercy, and always makes a mess...

Prince of Persia - From happy-go-lucky, acrobatic Prince to psychotic killing machine, the Prince of Persia has evolved into a sure candidate for today's list. He can navigate just about ANY terrain, dual wields ultra-stylish swords, and can CONTROL TIME. That's pretty badass. Besides, how many other guys routinely slide head-first down 3-story ropes, only to wrap a bladed chain around unsuspecting guards' throats?

Snake - I think Snake's badass-ness boils down to his gritty voice and war-hardened nature. He doesn't take crap from anyone, and would most likely beat up his own grandmother if she messed with him. He repeatedly embarks on solo operations to dismantle huge militant organizations, requesting no backup and acquiring everything he needs along he way. He is a master of weaponry, hand-to-hand combat, stealth, and military philosophy, and is so tough that he won't hesitate to stitch and splint his own wounds, then continue the mission. Plus, he eats critters off the forest floor, and always talks like he's got a pair.

Restrictive Gameplay: What Happened To Realism?

The video game industry seems to constantly be striving to inject more realism into games. It is hard to read about upcoming games for more than five minutes before eying some claim of vast improvements in this area. It appears that the focus, however, is primarily on the visual and aural recreation of what is "real." Conceptually, realism and authenticity are all too often cast in a secondary light, playing second fiddle to the moneymakers - eye and ear candy.

Suspension of disbelief is a key part of enjoying many games to the fullest. Take Psychonauts, for example. It is an absolutely stellar game, yet defies nearly every rule of logic and reality we have all grown to understand. Obviously, children don't go to Psychic Camp, then slap doors on people's heads and dive into their minds, but gamers don't need to believe that, and are not expected to. Blatant transgressions of the rule sets we carry in our head are easily forgiven. They don't come across as a cheat, or a cheap trick played on our mental grasp of the world. It is the little things that become the most jarring, and sometimes even frustrating.

One of the most commonplace of these infractions is the conjured boundary, or, as it is more well-known, the invisible wall. One of the greatest games of the previous console generation, though in most ways ahead of its time and truly evolutionary, was a culprit of this heinous crime. Resident Evil 4 could lay claim to one of the best graphical presentations of any game up to that point. Gnarled trees cast shadows on the rolling landscapes they dotted, flames flickered, enemies moved in a frighteningly authentic manner, and when they stared Leon in the face, you could all but feel their breath. It looked REAL...and the audio was just as convincing.

Also included in RE4 was a context-sensitive action system that allowed the player to interact with the environment in a number of ways that would otherwise be impossible to implement. It could only go so far, though, as each of these actions must be specifically programmed. They were not procedural behaviors, after all (but that is for another article).

The restrictions of Resident Evil 4's gameplay are found in its linearity. As Leon travels through the game's various locales, he is ALWAYS guided along a pre-defined, pre-DESTINED path. This is understandable when one considers that in any action-adventure, there is some sort of story to be told. The player must advance through it, much like a novel, and the developers must divine a way to keep those players moving in the right direction.

How NOT to do it, is just what they discovered. DO NOT build a path, bounded by a collection of arbitrary obstacles that would otherwise be easily circumvented, especially by a highly-trained, international law-enforcement agent. Many of the limits of Leon's environment are such insignificant obstructions, it is almost laughable that his progress in those directions is impeded. For example, there is a gate leading out of the village that requires a special (spoiler-free) "key" to pass through, and Leon is compelled to acquire it. Why did he not simply climb over the embankment just to the side of said gate??? The man can run up walls, for cryin' out loud! (that one has slight spoiler characteristics)

The inability to cross a boundary that is illogically impassable, just because someone couldn't come up with a good reason to disallow such a negotiation is frustrating. It is that simple. Gamers don't play because they long to feel the angst of frustration. Games are meant to flow seamlessly, without distraction or reason to be questioned.

Sometimes a breach in realism is okay, however, even in a title that is expected to push the envelope in that department. If cars in racing games inexplicably show absolutely no damage after a crash, it may be odd, but it is not inhibiting to the gameplay experience. If on the other hand, a certain level of damage makes the car suddenly blow up, with no in between information (a la visible dents, smashes, breaks, etc), then there is a problem. When inaccuracies in what is "real" affect gameplay, either hindering the flow of progress or keeping the gamer guessing, design is flawed.

Humans, as observers of the world around us, have these ingrained rules that we have cultivated with life experience. If these rules are broken by a game, thus altering our natural behaviors within that game world, then the focus of attention has been drawn away from what was originally intended, and redirected on the aberration from what we already know to be true. A simpler version of Leon's earlier dilemma is when a character comes across a chain-link fence, and just CAN'T muster the strength to climb it. He must find the gate in order to continue. Anyone with all their limbs can climb a chain-link fence.

Another category of behavior-altering in-game observations involves selectively variable results for a single, repeated action. The ability to jump off some [equal height] ledges but not others, the ability to jump some [equal size] gaps but not others, and the ability to break some doors but not others are all examples of this kind of inconsistency. It is one of the most frustrating types, because the gamer is kept in the dark until performing trial-and-error experimentation on these objects.

Some time spent with games like Resistance: Fall of Man reveals another pervasive error in video game design, as it pertains to conceptual realism. It appears that grenade blasts do not damage single-paned glass windows, let alone doors and the like. It is strange that so many games present locked doors, often made of a simple material (like WOOD), to gamers who tote shotguns, heavy machine guns, and even rocket launchers. Since when does a rocket launcher not blow the SH*T out of a wooden/metal/concrete door... or even a wall?

I'm glad to know that in REAL life, if I should ever come into possession of a rocket launcher, I will be able to blast through whatever my little heart desires.

Social Gaming

Nerd, geek, dork, antisocial, hermit - these are all titles that may have been awarded to a connoisseur of video games, back during the industry's infancy. Video gaming was certainly considered a reclusive hobby. Through the years, however, video games and their users have transformed their portrayed image, and now approach a summit where the social value of this beloved pass-time will inevitably be thrust into a position of legitimate recognition once and for all.

Early on, video games were disparaged by poor press. The technology was met with resistance, just as so many forms of media before it. Television and rock n' roll come instantly to mind. Popular culture often referred to gaming in a derogatory manner, and portrayed gamers as completely lacking social skills. However, gaming is very much a social pursuit, and continues to grow and develop in this direction.

I imagine most individuals who grew up with games fondly remember going off to school and thinking about a particular game or games they were playing for nearly the entire day. Being in a social environment already, it was easy to discover others who shared the same interests, and the love of video games was premier on that list. Gaming is an avenue that allows children to make friends in school, and to do so with enthusiasm. As with anything else, these little interactive gems spawn endless discussion, debate, and mutual retrospection.



Gamers form a certain comradery -- a brotherhood -- where all understand and can relate to one another. These circles of friends will often trade games between members of the group, arrange visits and play sessions together, and even formulate traditions revolving around video games. Maybe every Thursday becomes game night at John's house, or a certain game becomes a consistent after-school affair.

Of course manufacturers have taken notice, and it is evident in home console design. Initially allowing only two controllers to be attached, consoles have always moved in the direction of adding more players to the game. First supporting peripherals such as the multitap to get the job done, and then by increasing the number of controller ports, as the N64 did in 1996. Now, the PS3 allows for up to SEVEN simultaneously connected controllers, and the Wii's entire mission seems to be getting everyone and their mother playing games together.

Furthermore, social networks based almost entirely on gaming have become more and more prevalent. With the rise of the internet, society has borne witness to the development of a variety of electronic discussion boards concerned with a vast range of topics. Video games are a very common focus for these forums, and allow users to interact with one another, often inspiring thorough analysis and in-depth discourse.



On top of online e-boards, the internet houses hundreds upon hundreds of dedicated video game sites. These range from all-encompassing game news publications to private blogs; from specific game sites to deep musings about and intellectualization of the craft. Even www.Game-Crush.com proves that if people have something to say about video games, they can do so - and even receive mass feedback on their opinions.

Pervasive internet connectivity has given rise to the increasingly popular world of online play. Usually as simple as repeated contests of skill such as deathmatches, capture-the-flag variants and sports competitions, these modes of play afford gamers the opportunity to always play with another person, rather than alone. Many of these games are set up with "lobbies" where players chat (via text OR voice) between matches. Xbox Live is Microsoft's online service, and strives to create and maintain an online community of gamers, with game and stat -tracking, as well as communication options and personal profiles. It is both ambitious and successful, with with a large user pool and obligatory developer support. This service has certainly been an instrumental part of the maturation of social gaming.

Lastly, and the most enmeshed form of player-world-player interaction, are massively multiplayer online games (MMOs). These games are built around central servers that house a tangible and persistent world that is the same for every player who participates. As one travels this online environment, they meet up with hundreds of other individuals who are playing at the same time, and can then interact with them in the form of simple chatter, trading, alliance, or combat. Possibilities are only as limited as the real world - and actually, less so. These persistent worlds develop their own unique social dynamics, and even approach forming entire cultures around the goings-on inside the game.

If nuclear winter should ever hit, and we all must head underground, then something like THIS may be how we remain united.

Rumble | Best Genre

Considering the previous Rumble, Sex vs. Videogames, I got to pondering ways one might actually search for video games. After a bit of rolling it around in my head, search strings referring to specific genres piqued my interest. However, I wanted to limit the kinds of results that Google would likely find, so today's rumble has to do with videogame-specific acronyms.

There you have it, of the most commonly abbreviated video game genres, RPGs reign supreme. The offshoot MMORPG genre is next, followed by FPSs and lastly, the somewhat cultist RTS group. You can check out the search for yourself here.

Wii Buy Wii-Mote? -- Wii Play Review

Wii Play has finally hit store shelves here in the U.S. Fundamentally a collection of nine short mini-games, Wii Play is designed to make use of all of the Wii Remote's methods of control. In fact, the game comes bundled with one for the usual software price point of $49.99. Before hopes climb too high regarding this 'deal' though, readers should be aware that this package is more of a 'Wii-mote Plus' than an actual game. It is essentially like buying a Wii Remote and getting a tech demo or instructional software for ten dollars extra.

The game can be played by one or two players only, which is disappointing on a four-player console, especially when the multiplayer aspect of the game is decidedly more enjoyable than the solo mode. Only one game is available from the start, and each must be played to unlock the next, until all nine are accessible. Each game is preceded by a brief message describing how to use the Remote, although it is quite obvious in most cases. Following the Wii Sports philosophy, they are all very easy to pick up and play, but unlike that collection, these tasks lose their luster much more rapidly.

The first game, Shooting Range, is likely to be the favorite of many gamers. A sort of tribute to old-school light gun games like Duck Hunt, the object of the game is to quickly and accurately pick off balloons, targets, clay disks, soda cans and Mii-snatching UFOs, in order to accrue points. There are even a few ducks flying around in the background, yielding bonus points to the sharpshooter who is able to pick them off. Quick reflexes are required to score maximum points, especially in the competitive two-player mode. Those reflexes will come in handy when gamers realize that Shooting Range is over, too - its five stages fly by fast.

Find Mii is up next, and to be completely honest, this "game" is more annoying than it is fun. After thirty-some-odd levels of picking out lookalike and oddball Miis from a crowd, or the fastest moving in the group, I was ready to have an 'accident' and blast my TV with a Wii-mote fastball. This game is a jazzed-up Where's Waldo, but with fewer and less distinct characters, and lower quality artwork. Pose Mii is another game involving Mii avatars, where players rotate pre-posed Mii characters to fit into and pop falling bubbles before they reach the bottom of the screen. There are three different poses, which are cycled through with the A and B buttons. This game is incredibly simple, but can get intense when the bubbles build up. Still, it is one of the less fun games in the bunch.

Table Tennis is just what is sounds like, and is pretty enjoyable as a multiplayer game, though not so much in single player mode. Players have little control over their paddles, simply moving them around the table while the game makes the actual swings. The motion sensing is spot-on, however, and still feels good. The point of the single player game is to keep a rally going with the CPU for as long as possible, while the two player mode is a match to 11. A similar game is Laser Hockey, which mimics real-life air hockey. In this one, the player is in control of the angle and strength of all of his shots. This one is competitive in both single- and multi- player, but again, is more fun with a friend. For Pong remakes, these two games aren't half bad.

Billiards IS half-bad. It seems as though a game of nine-ball with Wii-mote controls would be a perfect marriage, but the unresponsive Billiards mini-games proves otherwise, at least for now. Off-screen motions don't translate very well to on-screen action, and the experience, though well thought out and intuitively designed, suffers as a result. Fishing, on the other hand, is as simple as can be. Players dangle their Wii Remote fishing poles into a pond until a fish bites, and then yank up to secure their catch. Detection of the Remote in 3D space is solid, but the game lacks any depth, and feels bland. Each fish is worth a certain amount of points, and the goal is to earn the most points before time runs out. It isn't terribly exciting.

Charge! and Tanks! are the last two games on the list, and are best as multiplayer endeavors. Charge! is a race on cow-back, with hurdle-jumping and scarecrow-smashing thrown into the mix. It is controlled much like ExciteTruck, with the Wii-mote held horizontally. Speed is regulated by rotating forward and back, and turning is controlled by tilting side to side. The cows jump when the Remote is quickly jerked upward. The action in Charge! is hectic, and points are earned for every scarecrow that is smashed on the way to the finish line. Tanks! is the only part of Wii Play to make use of the nunchuk, although it is an optional addition. In an overhead BattleTanx-like arena, players must move their tank around obstacles with either the control stick or d-pad while trying to shoot down enemy tanks with the Wii-mote's pointer. This game is simple and fun, and the difficulty scales up nicely over the game's many levels. It is a good way to end this collection of mini-games.

Although it is not nearly of the same quality of the average retail release, Wii Play can be enjoyable for a little while. Multiplayer mode is hands down the more enjoyable way to play, and the fact that the game is bundled with an extra Wii Remote is incentive enough to play it that way. Considering it a Wii-mote bundled with a bonus game justifies the additional $10 spent, and with the scarcity of those things, it might be a wise purchase for anyone in search of one.

A Little Risque -- Ar Tonelico: Melody Of Elemia Review

Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia is totally different from your typical role-playing game, yet painfully the same. The novelty of the game comes from the unique combat system and the interesting development of relationships between the game's main character and his supporting female party members. It's a traditional sprite-based, turn-based RPG with courtship elements, and plenty of sexual innuendo, but it simply fails to captivate, and is ultimately unimpressive.

The story takes place on Sol Ciel, a world twice destroyed and subsequently rebuilt. It is made up of floating islands surrounding the Ar Tonelico, a central tower that sustains all life in the Sol Ciel, and is divided into the Upper World and the Lower World. The adventure begins when a seemingly invincible "virus" appears in the Upper World, and the young knight Lyner Barset is sent to the Lower World to find a Hymn Crystal -- the only way to defeat it.

In this game, players will traverse the world in pursuit of their goals, picking up a variety of party members along the way. The overworld screen functions differently from most RPGs in that there is no free reign to explore. Players select a destination on the map and are simply taken there. Within these locations, one chooses more specific points of interest to visit from a list superimposed over a rough sketch of the area. At this point, control is turned over, and Lyner is free to move about. He's able to jump onto and over certain portions of the environment, and can even interact with objects by casting certain spells (like breaking down a wall) while exploring.

The most interesting elements of the game, however, do not focus on Lyner, himself -- but on members of the all-female race known as the Reyvateils. These legendary maidens are the key to combat in Ar Tonelico, as they provide the most substantial means to obliterate foes, as well as heal and otherwise aide the party. Reyvateils are a magical race, capable of concentrating and projecting their inner feelings into powerful Song Magic that can either damage enemies or support allies. Battle consists of a front line of three human characters who have typical commands available to them, such as attack, use skill, use item, and wait; one Reyvateil, who remains in the rear, is perpetually singing and charging magical energy. The function of the human characters is nominal, as they are mainly used to protect the Reyvateil and set up enemies for her eventual assault. The formation most closely equates to a line of meat-shield soldiers in front of a cannon preparing to fire.

Reyvateils are not restricted by the turn-based system, and can be made to perform actions at any point in the battle by pressing triangle. A song is first selected and then charges up, slowly consuming MP and becoming more and more powerful, until it is released to do critical damage. Support magic is selected and produces effects the entire time the song is sung. In the meantime, the other characters work to improve the "ambiance" of the fight by striking their foes. As an opponent is attacked, ambiance increases, making Reyvateil attacks become more powerful when they're launched. Furthering the depth of combat is the Harmonics system, which represents the synergy between a Reyvateil and the rest of the party. As harmonics increase, so too does the effectiveness of the humans' attacks, as well as the quality of the enemies' dropped items; it's best to increase harmonic levels as much as possible. Unfortunately, doing so requires curbing one's offense, and amounts to what is basically waiting. Combat becomes boring, tedious and somewhat dreadful as the hours go by. Eventually, typical combat procedure boils down to the Reyvateil beginning a song, the human party members making a few attacks as her song charges, and then activating the magic, destroying all enemies.

Just as they do in combat, Reyvateils differ from human characters in the way they advance in skill and power. Spell songs are awakened from a Reyvateil's inner consciousness by her partner, after he "dives" into her Comosphere and pokes around. In order to dive, Lyner must earn the trust of his Reyvateil by having conversations with her and developing a trusting relationship. Girls never let boys dive into their comospheres unless they trust them enough.

Through battle, Lyner accumulates Dive Points (DP), which are used to navigate inside this inner world. There is no control during these segments; the player simply chooses nodes along a path, expends DP and watches story segments unfold and reveal more about the Reyvateil. Certain nodes end in the acquisition of new song magic, which is the goal of the Dive system. When all nodes are completed, a new layer of the comosphere becomes available for diving, but only if enough trust has been built via conversations with conscious Reyvateil. The whole thing is one big sexual metaphor, slowly building up, then suddenly letting out lines like, "...let's just say I know her real hair color" or "I heard it hurts when you push it in."

The game features an item synthesis system, as well, called Grathmelding. Grathmelding allows Lyner to take components dropped by enemies -- usually in the form of crystals -- and combine them into new, useful items. He will first need a recipe card, outlining the item's creation, and then must find his way to a camp or inn where he can perform the grathmeld. The strength, function and effectiveness of the synthesized items depends on the quality of components, and much time can be spent gathering the best crystals to form the highest level items.

Searching Sol Ciel may not be the most aesthetically pleasing of endeavors, however, as this game appears to have come straight out of the 32-bit era. Just about everything about the graphics is sub-par, from the fuzzy sprites to the poorly rendered polygonal overworld. Battle animations are not fluid and unvaried, and dungeon and wilderness backgrounds are often repeated. Town areas show the most artistic merit, and the character art overlaying dialogue segments is solid. The most jarring of visual stimuli occurs during cut scenes, which are a mix of sprites, rendered 3-D video and anime animation. It doesn't mesh well at all.

Also failing to mesh is the audio. The opening title song is good, but it's all downhill from there. Voice acting is pretty horrible, and reminds me of the quality experienced in Baten Kaitos for GCN. Luckily, it can be turned off -- and really should be, unless you enjoy making fun of the characters' voices like I did. The game includes only the most basic of sound effects, and the general background tracks are mediocre at best. Some songs stand out above the rest, and are even catchy, but then you hear a common instrumental play, with totally unexpected rap delivered over top of it, and can't help but wonder what the audio director was thinking.

Overall, Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia is not a bad game, but just falls short in the execution of some pretty unique and inventive ideas. It's still an okay game, and offers some good laughs and interesting gameplay mechanics, but it looks, sounds and plays a generation behind its platform, leaving this reviewer yearning for other entries in the genre.