One Word Review | Guitar Hero

This is One Word Review, a concept that I shamelessly lifted from my friend Creighton over at eight bit childhood (it's okay, he said I could). The idea behind OWR, as we like to call it, is that videogames are so often rated, reviewed, and discussed to exhaustion that it is sometimes a relief to read a succinct, definitive description of a game--a single word that sums up the most prominent characteristics of the gaming experience. That's the idea, so here goes:

Cha-ching

Walk This Way -- Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Preview

What do you get when you combine the most popular rhythm/music videogame franchise of all time with what some refer to as "America's Greatest Rock and Roll Band?" The answer to that question is RedOctane and Activision's upcoming Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, which I had the opportunity to play and discuss last week at a press event in San Francisco.

If you've played Guitar Hero before, then this installment is going to look very familiar. It features the same setup as previous Guitar Hero games, and runs on a slightly tweaked version of the Guitar Hero III engine. The big difference, of course, is that 26 of the game's 41 tracks are written and performed by Aerosmith. This is great for fans or casual rock listeners, but I probably wouldn't recommend the title to those who can't stand the band -- it could be a nightmare.

The 15 other songs are all by artists that have either influenced or collaborated with Aerosmith, and about half of those are master recordings, as well. Aerosmith was very involved with the development of GH:A, including the composition of the set list. They wanted the game to represent their work and history, so players can be sure that everything included is meaningful. The game even features body scans of the entire band and motion capture from frontman Steven Tyler.

The main career mode in GH:A follows the band from their roots as a Boston garage band to their mega-star status of the modern day. In each of eight venues from the band's past, players will jam to two "opening act" performances, followed by three from Aerosmith. Before each venue, there are clips from video interviews with the band, describing their experiences and telling anecdotal tales of people, places, and events.

While the band would have liked the song order in the game to perfectly reflect their real-world chronology, they understand that the nature of the medium requires simpler songs to come early on, and more difficult songs to be reserved for the later stages. In the end, the liberties taken by the development team provide for a smoother difficulty curve for players, and therefore a better game experience.

For competition-seeking Guitar Hero veterans, multiplayer remains, as usual, with Face-Off, Pro Face-Off, Battle, and Co-op modes. I didn't have the chance to test my mettle against other members of the press this time around, but I'm guessing that's only because they feared the wrath of my medium-difficulty shredding.

I may not be a huge Aerosmith fan (I do have some of their music in my personal library of tunes and easily recognize the vocal stylings of Steven Tyler), but my time with GH:A reminded me of just how easy it is to rock out to their music, and I expect that the breadth of the 38 year-old band's work will appeal to a wide audience when it arrives on the 29th.

Partial set list:

Nipmuc High School
Mott the Hoople - All the Young Dudes *Cover
Cheap Trick - Dream Police
Aerosmith - Make It
Aerosmith - Uncle Salty
Aerosmith - Draw the Line

Max's Kansas City
Joan Jett - I hate myself for loving you
The Kinks - All day and all of the night *Cover
Aerosmith - Movin' Out
Aerosmith - No Surprize
Aerosmith - Sweet Emotion

The Orpheum Theater
The Clash - Complete Control
New York Dolls - Personality Crisis *Cover
Aerosmith - Livin' on the Edge
Aersomith - Ragdoll
Aerosmith - Love in an Elevator

Half Time Show
Lenny Kravitz - Always on the Run
Black Crowes - Hard to Handle *Cover
Aerosmith - Back in the Saddle
Aerosmith - Beyond Beautiful
Aerosmith - Dream On

Moscow
The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary
Run DMC - King of Rock
Aerosmith - Bright Light Fright
Aerosmith - Nobody's Fault
Run DMC featuring Aerosmith - Walk This Way

That Game Is What?

I was having a bit of fun the other day looking up terms on Urbandictionary.com, and I decided it would make for an interesting column if I started looking up videogame terms to pass on to you, the GN faithful. Eventually, it just turned into "name a game and pick the most disparaging/humorous definition of said game" - which isn't really so bad.*

Here's what I found during my quest (entries left unedited for extra entertainment value - beware of extreme profanity):

Video games:
1 - The only thing that's fun to do anymore.

PS3:
1 - sony playstation 3, it was released @ E3 2005, looks like a fridge door with dildos as controllers
2 - An over priced George Foreman grill, enough heat and space to cook food for a 3rd world country plus it costs as much as a 3rd world country...

Wii:
1 - Wii (pronounced "Wee") is the name for Nintendo's new console to be released in 2006. The soundalike word wee is also a euphemism for urinating. Nintendo had always insisted they would become "number one", and now they are.
2 - A repackaged Gamecube with motion controls. Formerly known as the Levorution
3 - To change a cool sounding product into a name that sounds like you have to go to the bathroom
4 - XBox 360's little white bitch

Xbox 360:
1 - Basically Microsoft's next big fat console that allows blood-thirsty players to play blood-filled killing games. Will emulates incredible details and graphics of death, mutilation, blood, infiltration, conspiration, explosion, planet novas, killing and prostitution.
2 - A junky fucking game system that isn't worth a penny. It breaks easily, horrible graphics, the graphics are blurry, junky look, shitty-ass controls, sucks like the xbox. PS3 rules! Xbox 360 sucks ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 - The suckiest Next-Gen console Ever.
4 - The Game console pwned by the PS3 and Wii.

MMORPG:
1 - Many Men Online Role-Playing Girls.
2 - A treadmill that makes you fatter.
3 - A mans mistress
4 - Relationship killer.

Leeroy Jenkins:
1 - Doing it Leeroy Jenkins Style. Meaning to do something so bloody wild that youll be talked about for months because it was bloody insane.

World of Warcraft:
1 - A good fun alternative to life.
2 - crack, in CD-ROM form.
3 - The most highly addictive game ever played. It will consume your soul and poison your water supply.

Halo:
1. without this game most guys would spend most of their time masturbating
2. code word: group, all male, masturbating.
3. electronic circle jerk, multiguy mission.

Halo 3:
1 - If idle hands are the devil's tools, then the Halo franchise should be delaying armageddon for decades to come.
2 - A gift probably from heaven, programmed by god himself. Though Playstation 3 fag boys...sorry, "fanboys" may say it sucks, they are just disappointed that their console will not be able to handle it. With all it's cool features, halo 3 will make gaming history. On Sept 25th the earth itself will shake from the awesomeness of halo. I look forward to laughing at the PS3 fans on that day.

Metal Gear Solid:
1. a game that is too fucking cool for words to describe.if you havnt played it then you cant realy say you've had life experience when applying for a job.

Final Fantasy:
1 - a highly addictive drug.
2 - the video game series that used to be for video game geeks but now is now unfortunately enjoyed by all, including the people that used to beat me up for liking these games
2 - The RPG plague and should be ingorned and it will go away.
3 - some gay game that all the gay ass nerds play and they suck balls

Guitar Hero:
1 - A game played at Best Buy as a way to pick up chicks who dont realize that no skill from playing the real guitar is required.
2 - A video game on the Playstation 2 and the lazy man's alternative to actually playing the guitar because they are either too lazy, impatient, or simply lack the talent.
3 - DDR for your fingers. Has spawned an obsession over the entire country. 15 year olds who have never touched a real guitar consider it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Mario Kart:
1 - A drunk college student's favorite pastime.

Mario:
1- A fat and short plumber that the only way he can get laid is is to save the princess from Bowser. He eats shrooms to grow higher. To give an example of how much he wants to get laid: hes willing to bust bricks with his head. But you, have a better chance of getting laid if you stay big, so don't get hit or you'll shrink.
2 - Self absorbed, self centered, one-upping douche. See also Jackass

Luigi:
1 - A pimp-ass motherfucker who always gets outstaged by his short, fat brother,

Zelda:
1 - Absolutely, beyond a doubt, no questions asked, the GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME EVER CREATED ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH! Anyone who hates Zelda sucks at life completely.
2 - The hoebag princess from The Legend of Zelda series that does absolutely nothing and screams a lot.

Silent Hill:
1 - an insanely scary game designed to make boys and girls defecate as soon as they are exposed to it. its fucked up.
2 - A game is nice and quiet then out of no where OMFG SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

Tekken:
1 - see gay.
2 - more like a shit videogame.
3 - The pimpest game there is. Anyone who says "OMG TEH VIRTUA FIGHTAR!" is either an anime fanboy japanophile cockshit or one of those fighting game uber nerds who study framerates and whatshit.
4 - Its the mojo that keeps you alive
5 - virtua fighter is fucking gay and tekken is nothing like street fighter. its the best fightin game out on the market to this day and if you dont like it you can suck a dick. Easily beaten but not easily mastered

Virtua Fighter:
1 - VF = Better graphics, physics, GAMEPLAY, REPLAYABILITY, LASTABILITY!!!
Teken = Better ways to mash buttons, better flashes, better CHEAP factor.
2 - Virtua fighter is a game for American wannabe jap nerds that think gay bullshit is better just for the fuck of it. Well it ain't. Hope you learned your lesson Bitch.

Street Fighter:
1 - A story about RYU's serious ego problem.
2 - The source of all school violence. That and DOOM.

That's all for now. I think I will do this again one day with different games (hopefully ones that are just as loved/hated as the ones listed above). Hope you all enjoyed that as much as I did.

*Disclaimer: The definitions in this column in no way represent the feelings of the author. If you would kindly direct your torches and pitchforks elsewhere, that would be greatly appreciated.