Dark Messiah Of The Worst Load Times Ever -- Dark Messiah Of Might And Magic Preview

So late it is already irrelevant, here is my highly educated, videogame rock star opinion on the Dark Messiah demo:


Ohhh yeahhhh. That's a pretty sweet loading screen there. After watching the download bar progress on this demo for like 3 fucking hours, I got to start the game and immediately watch this totally awesome loading bar progress for like a minute solid. This was for the MENU. Luckily, my endless tenacity prevailed, and I made it to the main menu, only to be greeted by yet another loading screen before the first level loaded. I stepped out to take care of some other business.

Finishing up on my taxes, I made it back to the room just in time for the first level to load. Not bad, I could adapt my Counterstrike play style easily enough, game runs smooth, etc. That's when my computer locked up. This gave me an awesome opportunity to watch the loading screen again!


So I made it into the game finally and some old dude was telling me what to do. I didn't mind it that much, because the character I decided I was going to role-play during the 12 separate minute-long load screens had grown up in a poor family, and was often abused by his drunken father. His mother long dead, my character had often tried, in vain, to make some connection with his father. As such, he longed for fatherly affection. So the old guy was okay.

Thankfully, he mostly just told me how to do stuff like kick guys into spikes, which I enjoy. I got a spider diamond and then progressed to the next level.


Awesomely, I wound up in a giant underground castle. Who decides to build a castle underground? I'll never know. Naturally, I immediately leapt off a cliff and was forced to load the autosave.


That's right, there's an incredible load time even for loading a quicksave in the exact same level you're already in. RADICAL!

Finally I got somewhere, and then I kicked some guy right in his ass and knocked him off a cliff!


I like that. Naturally, I went about killing every enemy I met by kicking them off things, breaking things on their heads, and knocking heavy things on top of them. That's when I learned Dark Messiah's greatest feature. You can kick people into fire and they start burning! Sweet fucking FIRE! You can burn crates and then throw them on to things and light those things on fire too! I didn't take a picture though, so here is another loading screen:


This game lets me be a giant asshole, which I like, and the load screens are pretty cool too. I give this my highest rating: 1 star.

Dark Messiah Of Elder Scrolls? -- Dark Messiah Of Might And Magic Preview

So, after spending a considerable amount of time playing and re-playing the recently released Dark Messiah of Might and Magic demo (thanks, FilePlanet), I feel I am now qualified to report my impressions of this Source Engine first-person hack-n-slash.

Before I get started, let me just say that I am quite the Oblivion whore. I've been known to play Elder Scrolls 4 for days on end, forsaking food, drink, sleep, and my regularly scheduled hygienic activities, as well as causing a keyboard to cease functioning due to my incessant and rigorous bulldozing of keys. Why is this relevant? Because Dark Messiah will unavoidably be compared to Oblivion, although it seems to be a different beast, entirely.

While Oblivion is designed to be a sprawling world of role-playing freedom, Dark Messiah focuses its spotlight more on fierce melee action. The aim is to bring the intensity and visceral feeling of a medieval sword fight to the gamer, through a more refined battle system.

From what I can gather from this demo, Dark Messiah is arranged much like your average FPS. The player is placed at the beginning of a level and must follow the path to the end, all the while killing enemies, collecting dropped items, and doing cool stuff with physics. The interface is accessible and efficient, with a nine-slotted toolbar at the bottom of the screen for hotkeyed weapons and items. In typical FPS fashion, it makes use of the mousewheel for quick switching, which I personally welcome with open arms. Beyond this "inventory belt," there is about 40 slots-worth of carrying capacity available when you bring up the inventory screen, and items can be used directly from those extra spaces with a simple double-click.

That screen is also home to character development, which seems to play only a supporting role to the action. There are a few attribute/skill trees, such as melee combat, archery, strength, magic, and stealth--enough to keep you interested in customizing your character's style, but lacking an incredible amount of depth. When it comes to the combat, you'll find that more precision is required in dispatching your foes than what one is used to in Oblivion, making for more accurate representation of massacre. Misalign the reticle and your sword will sail over the shoulder of that spittle-dripping, bloodthirsty orc, rather than through its neck. Upon contact, however, you will feel warm and fuzzy inside to watch a legshot induce a limp in your sub-sapiens friend. The power strikes are done well in Dark Messiah, allowing the player to dictate what sort of blow to deliver based on what direction (WASD) the weapon is drawn, as well as which weapon is equipped. Hold 'D' while holding the left mouse button, and the sword will be drawn up to your right, and subsequently swung in a right-to-left arc. Hold 'S' and draw the sword straight back to unleash an Achilles-style forward thrust. Switch out the sword for daggers and watch as your virtual counterpart administers scissor-like death blows. And speaking of death blows, Dark Messiah includes an adrenaline meter that when full turns a normal power strike into a slow-motion fatality, characterized by much blood and flying body parts. It all comes together nicely, and you'll find that different weapons and angles of attack are useful at different junctures throughout the fray.

The magic in the demo was quite the nifty little tool, and well-animated, too. Spells are equipped like weapons, and the characters hands remain poised to cast at will. The position and glow of the hands varies depending on the spell, and it makes the magic seem authentic (authentic magic?). A flame spell not only burns your enemies, but also lets you go pyro, lighting any wood in sight ablaze. The ice spell freezes enemies in place, which is good for a laugh or two. And lastly, there is the magic trap spell, which is incredibly useful, as long as you don't kill yourself with it.

Well, I've been told that my writing can sometimes be long-winded, so I'll shut up right about now. As for the graphics and sound and all that technical stuff, I will say this: It looks good with my 6800 Ultra OC and sounds good with Dolby 5.1. Like the Source engine is wont, it runs quite smoothly, as well. I'm sure Brian can detail you on all this, because he loves to scrutinize these things, but I'll just say it's A-ok.

So, in general, I'm anticipating Dark Messiah of Might and Magic optimistically. It seems like a solidly crafted action game, and contrary to its appearance, will fit nicely alongside my beloved Oblivion without too much dissension.