
Kratos - The man is a Spartan, he is one of the fiercest warriors of all time, and he even gets down with menage-a-trois in his games. That's badass. Not to mention the fact that he single-handedly vanquishes a colossal Hydra, multiple cyclops', minotaurs, ogres, gorgons, sirens and a whole slew of other beasts. His Tuesday afternoon list of things to kill before dinner reads like a who's who of Greek mythology, and oh yeah, he destroys Ares and takes his throne, only after dying and subsequently fighting his way OUT of the underworld. Besides all that, he's just MEAN, and will rip an innocent peasant in half WITH HIS BARE HANDS simply for some health orbs. I would certainly sh*t my pants if Kratos was mad at me.

Duke Nukem - "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all outta gum." Of all the characters in all video games, Duke Nukem may very well have the coolest collection of one-liners out there. Besides that obvious fact, he wanders around killing aliens with kick-ass weapons, all while wearing sunglasses and a red wife-beater. The king of sh*t-talking takes his badass level through the roof when he takes a dump on an enemy's FACE. "Hail to the King, baby!"

Ryu Hayabusa - I once saw Ryu cut off the heads of FIVE men in a single lunging slice....I could stop there, but then I'd be neglecting the fact that he's so agile that he can damn near fly, is a master of all manner of weaponry, and knows MAGIC. Besides all this, in his most recent adventure, alone, he eradicates three dragons, multiple tanks and helicopters, four giant worms of varying elemental infusion, a giant ice beast, two tentacle monsters, two...Almas...the evil warlord, Doku (twice), and one of the most insane final bosses in gaming. He decapitates about thirty dozen ninjas along the way...
Dante - Dante is flashy and defiant, and will kick a group of enemies' asses while eating a slice of pizza. He rocks both a gun and a sword at the same time, and uses both like a pro. He is a demon hunter who is half-demon himself, and he is well-know for taking on grotesque monsters of gigantic proportions. Not only does he sport trend-setting, Gothic duds, but he also named his one-man business "Devil May Cry." If that's not badass, then what is?

Agent 47 - He is a professional assassin, he walks around in a suit, he wears black gloves, and he's bald. He even has a barcode tattooed on the back of his neck, plainly visible as he sneaks up on and chokes the life out of armed soldier after armed soldier. He rarely utters a word, but his actions more than speak for themselves. What would normally be classified as serial murder is all in a day's work for Agent 47, and he does it with no questions, no hesitation, and no remorse...and he's good at it.

Sephiroth - It's almost obligatory that I include the most famous Final Fantasy bad guy ever. The fact of the matter, though, is that he's deserving of the honor. From the music that accompanies his every appearance, to his 86-foot katana, to his sinister...hair, he is badass through and through. He kills a fully-developed playable party member halfway through the game...who DOES that? What an *sshole! Besides, the whole stop-Cloud-in-mid-air-as-he-falls-like-a-falcon-from-10-stories-up-at-200-miles-per-hour-all -while-remaining-ridiculously-calm-and-cool-and-at-the-same-time-sprouting-a-10-foot-sword-out-of-nowhere move could earn him a spot here by itself.

Garcian Smith - Although Garcian is certifiably insane and suffers from severe psychological torment, that doesn't stop him from being one very bad man. He won't hesitate to fire the 6th bullet in a game of Russian Roulette, and carries an attache case full of weapons wherever he goes. A killer from the time he was a child, he has grown into a mountain of an assassin. He has no apparent emotion left, and even whistles tunes to himself while he works.

James Earl Cash - This guy is one of the rawest video game characters there is. He has already been incarcerated for murder when he finds himself playing the lead role in a sick game of slaughter. He has to kill in order to survive, and he does so in only the most brutal fashion. Using anything from a plastic bag to a shotgun, James Earl Cash manages to obliterate his enemies, one by one. He never shows any mercy, and always makes a mess...

Prince of Persia - From happy-go-lucky, acrobatic Prince to psychotic killing machine, the Prince of Persia has evolved into a sure candidate for today's list. He can navigate just about ANY terrain, dual wields ultra-stylish swords, and can CONTROL TIME. That's pretty badass. Besides, how many other guys routinely slide head-first down 3-story ropes, only to wrap a bladed chain around unsuspecting guards' throats?

Snake - I think Snake's badass-ness boils down to his gritty voice and war-hardened nature. He doesn't take crap from anyone, and would most likely beat up his own grandmother if she messed with him. He repeatedly embarks on solo operations to dismantle huge militant organizations, requesting no backup and acquiring everything he needs along he way. He is a master of weaponry, hand-to-hand combat, stealth, and military philosophy, and is so tough that he won't hesitate to stitch and splint his own wounds, then continue the mission. Plus, he eats critters off the forest floor, and always talks like he's got a pair.
SCORPION IS MORE BADASS THEN ALL OF THEM!!!!
ReplyDeleteumm master chief
ReplyDeleteYou two are so adorable, yet oh-so God-damned wrong.
ReplyDeleteThis was a pretty sweet list, it was good to finnaly see Kratos on one of these. but I have to say, Sub-Zero from mortl combat, Kazuya from Tekken, or one of the GTA characters should have been here.
ReplyDeleteMaster Chief ain't badass, at least, not enough to top anyone on this list.
ReplyDeleteGreat list there. I particularly love the inclusion of Dante, the Prince of Persia and Duke Nukem!
ReplyDeleteLove the list. Dante Rules!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Prince of Persia, Sephiroth, and Dante would be my own coices as well. but had the list got more slots, you definitely should include Altair, Vincent Valentine, Lara Croft, and Sonic, as well!
ReplyDeleteDANTE IS MY FAVORITE TILL I DIE!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDante and Sephiroth were good inclusions, as was the Prince of Persia. Vincent Valentine should have been thrown in there, though.
ReplyDeleteKratos and snake, they are straight pwn sauce
ReplyDeleteDANTE RULES!!!
ReplyDeleteCMON look
ReplyDeleteAltiar
vincent Valentine
CLOUD (HOWd U Miss him)
PIGGSY
for Cryin out FUCK add Piggsy he PWNs Snake's ASS
SONIC SUCKS MY LEFT ONE
damn ppl who the hell said cloud! niko from gta 4. and sonic sucks my left nut also
ReplyDeleteDante, Prince Of Persia y Sephiroth son los mejores a full
ReplyDeleteseriously as cool as snake is this is a badass list i don't think he sould be at the top. Kratos or the Duke it's nice to see him get his due, kids these days don't know what real badassery is, case in point the dumbass who said sonic. Sonic? this is a list of bad asses most of these would eat that hedgehog raw just for shits and giggles, but then he probably thinks shadow the hedgehog is cool
ReplyDeleteJohnny Gat should be on there! He is the most badass character ever! He shoots and blows the crap out of everything and STILL stays calm while he is killing wave after wave of cops.
ReplyDeleteloved that 47 is in the list.
ReplyDeletepossible inclusions
scorpion/subzero
tommy vercetti / niko
and wheres MAX PAYNE ? the story revolves around him by just being BAD ASS
if only the list could be longer!!!!! While Sergeant Johnson is quite as insane as these guys, you gotta give him his due. "When i first joined the marines all we had was a stick and a rock, and we had to share the rock" clearly, he is an animal
ReplyDeleteMax Payne, Sam Fisher, Ezio Auditore?
ReplyDeleteDante should be first.
ReplyDelete