Zelda: Twilight Princess Discussion

Eddie

Brian

The Wii launches tomorrow, and recently Brian and I have been talking more and more about it. We've decided it might be nice to pass along the content of some of these discussions, and are working on releasing podcasts in the near future. Anyway, here is our Twilight Princess discussion, although it covers more topics than just Zelda, and is more than just superficial.

Brian: F*** the Super Mario games already. F*** Mario! He's not an interesting character he appeals to f***ing little kids, mainly, I guess. I dunno who he even appeals to. Self respecting adults see Mario and think they want to play? I can't picture that. Your Nintendo love may make you unobjective. Is there any way you could ever talk s*** about the new Zelda? I mean, you loved Wind Waker right?

Eddie: I liked it, but it needed more to it. More dungeons, and less sailing.

Brian: Do you ever think to yourself, "Hmm, rehash of Ocarina of Time?" F*** it.

Eddie: Well, yeah. I think 3D action-adventure game based on dungeon exploration and completion, slight puzzle solving.

Brian: What you should really be thinking is, alright, more of this Zelda s***. The same story is rehashed every time with slight variation.

Eddie: But the thing is..."this Zelda s***" is fun.

Brian: Blah, blah. Triforce every time; successive dungeons to get you a boomerang, hookshot, bottles, etc - the same weapons every time. If it's basically enjoyable, that's cool, but nothing is basically enjoyable after 3 rehashes, or 4 or 5 or whatever. I don't play Tony Hawk anymore

Eddie: Yeah, I understand, however, Zelda is a game that has a slight plot to it.

Brian: The same plot, slightly different.

Eddie: Yes, the same damn plot, in general, but it has a new world to explore each time.

Brian: A new world offering many of the same elements and challenges over and over.

Eddie: But still different

Brian: Not by much

Eddie: Right, there always seems to be just enough added to keep it familiar but at the same time, fresh. Maybe not in the case of Majora's Mask.

Brian: Ocarina was good. It was taking it to 3D. Cool. But Wind Waker and Twilight Princess? They're still just 3D - nothing drastically new. WW has a boat...

Eddie: Well, they're not going to be f***ing 4D, are they?

Brian: Yeah, but they need to move to the next level - the new gameplay paradigm - and the Wii-mote isn't that for TP. It was made for GameCube.

Eddie: Right, nobody could use that as a defense. It is mapping. Map to button, map to gesture - same idea. Well, the boomerang and bow are done up well.

Brian: I was sort of getting excited but then I realized something... I sort of wasn't so much. Like, "wow a new Zelda, I should care about this," but my heart is black, Eddie, black as night.

Eddie: I know, I know.

Brian: Black as a brick of coal under a bridge at night. I have no love for anything, except for what is purely fun and awesome.

Eddie: Put a little love in there, Brian.

Brian: I won't give a game love that doesn't deserve it. I am the best reviewer this world will ever see, because I don't give a damn.

Eddie: And I won't try too hard to defend a game I have yet to play.

Brian: I will destroy it for you, so you can't enjoy it, hahahaha. I will make you see every flaw, till even the games you love most are horrible.

Eddie: Well, I can use history as an indicator. I enjoyed the previous Zelda games, so the newest iteration is expected to please.

Brian: I enjoyed 3 of them. Zelda 2 ate s***, Wind Waker just couldn't hold my interest at all - I just didnt care - and TP looks like an Ocarina upgrade.

Eddie: Well, even if it doesn't impress, at least it will make for an enjoyable time. Of that, I can be certain.